Sebastian (",)

Listening or blabbering

2010-11-01T00:15:00.002+08:00

One night, a pastor was praying to God for the people in his church, interceding with zeal for God to help his people, the list was long. Suddenly, he sense God's presence in the room and speaking to him in his heart.

God said, "Stop." but he carry on.
And for the 2nd time, God said, "Stop."
Pastor: "God, I can't, there are a long list of people who needs your help."
And God asked, "Who are you praying to?"
Pastor: "Can't you see God, that I'm busy praying to You. This list is important, it have to go. Can you let me finish it?"

Finally, after an hour, the pastor finishes his list and his prayer was done. He began thinking back what happened and it suddenly dawn upon him, that all this while, from the starting of his prayer to the end, it was mainly him who's talking all the way, request after request. There was no chance for God to speak to him, his prayer was not to be interrupted.

I think it is good to take a step back once a while and just listen to what God have to say. No doubt it is important to pray for the needy, but there is a time for everything. A time where we quiet ourselves, our hearts, our minds and just dwell in the presence of God, to enjoy his presence and allowing him to minister to us.

What's up!!

2010-10-01T00:56:00.002+08:00

There's so many things to update!! So let's start with whatever it's on my mind.

Hmm.. first of all, it's my first time blogging in this 1 month old HP laptop $1800. Quite a good catch from my school promo. Was targeting Fujitsu at first but then it super expensive (> $2K) plus the spec is not as good as HP. So far so goooooood, very happy with it =))

Oh, I got an extra sister.. No, my mum is not pregnant!!! A new colleague by the name of Cheryl and the same age as my sister too join our department. Don't know who went and told her I've got a sister with the same name as her and she starts calling me Kor Kor.. Anyway, I think she got "High Sugar Syndrome" which make her weird yet interesting at the same time. She's super active and laugh easily whenever she's high on sugar or when she is very tired. Funny rite?? and weird too. But at least it brightens up the whole office.

Thanks God for the success of the 2nd Seekers video production. Our very own in house production. The experience is Stressful, tough but very enjoyable. We film for 2 weeks and overnight just to finish editing the video on time. Seriously, God is faithful, after all issues arising, we thought we would not be able to produce the video on time, but I sense strongly the word of God telling me to put my faith in Him. True enough, we finish it at the very last 30 minutes.
Guess it will be my last video for this year. I don't have time or energy to take on another video project. Revision and tutorials are falling down like bricks, got to clear it before it's Game Over.
The first video can be found in my facebook under videos (non HD versioin), latest video had not been uploaded yet.

That's all, got to sleep.

Random Updates

2010-07-31T02:43:00.002+08:00

This is what random updates all about. Basically anything that is on my mind now.

So let's take it to the first one. Badminton was called off for this whole month and I have every reasons to believe it is the work of YOG. And I'm guessing I won't be playing badminton, for the whole month of Aug. Because the school needs the hall back and I'm guessing it's for their training.

Yah, 1 more month of school holiday for me. Such a long holiday, I wonder will I get my rhythm back once my school starts.

I don't remember planting, maybe except when I was young and my teacher told us to plant some beans.. Red beans, green beans and Soya beans (yah rite..) Anyway, I never reap any fruits. All I saw was a 10cm green stalk with a few pathetic leaves sticking out of the soil and no matter how hard I tried to keep it alive, it ended up dead the next week. From then on, I gave up on planting. Few years down the road, my mum bought me a small tree trunk, stem or whatever you call it. It's like 7cm in diameter and 10cm tall. At least after months, I saw roots coming out at the base and later on, leaves started to sprout.
Well, somehow it reminded me of my cell. 4 years ago, I started with great passion and high expectation with the boys (12-14 of them). It's kind of tough in the beginning, you got to know each of them, their interest, character.. to build trust and rapport with them. The results are kind of frustrating, trying to get everyone's attention during words is a near impossible. When you get the attention from one group, the other group start to chat away happily. Slowly, it starts to distract others and this goes on for months. Then there is this period where I cancel away cell worship because they are making a fool out of worship. Yes, I almost throw in the white towel. So fast forward to present. It's almost a 180 degree change. As 1 of them said, seekers (our cell name) is like a family to him. God had cause each and everyone of them to grow to love Him and one another.

Hiliarious and Beautiful MV

2010-07-22T00:15:00.000+08:00

Feeling lazy to write

2010-07-05T23:43:00.002+08:00

Dunno why, but just feeling lazy to update my blog. I think I should change my blog looks and my profile picture.

Anyway, Just celebrated my 2- birthday, haha. And it's like Chinese New year celebration because it's feasting non-stop and a visitation to the zoo, hahaha. Carnivore (Brazilian food), Chinese restaurant, Dim sum, Japanese food... Geekz, I've got to burn away more fats on weekend badminton and soccer.

And it's world cup fever. What is wrong with the Jabulani ball?? Always hitting the post. And even if it goes in after hitting the post, it's not counted.. Yup, I'm talking about the England deserving goal which is forfeited due to the referee's blunder. Definitely staying up for both the semi-finals and the finals match.

It's also movie marathon.. Toy Story 3D, Karate Kid, The Eclipse, IP man prelude and next in the queue is Predator!! See no more pirated download movies, maybe dramas. Oh, I've finally finish catching Glee, an English musical drama. I must say they have great voices and their singing and creativity keeps you on your seat.

So happy, got a fat fat fat bonous. Shhsss it's confidential. I felt the pinch of 20% going to CPF.

It's been rusting for 2 months

2010-05-16T01:25:00.002+08:00

Yes, my blog is rusting.
Yes, my exams are over!!

Taking a long holiday to catch my dramas and movies, play computer games, catching up with friends for Karaoke and the irony is I couldn't read half of the Chinese lyrics (but at least I'm improving now. Expensive way to learn Chinese!)

But the best is still the sporting weekend. Sat badminton plus Sun soccer means I'm so gonna burn up my fats and cholesterol. Then I think my left knee got some problem. It hurts whenever I walk down the stairs. So I spent $44 for a pair of knee support to spread the weight (strain) to my tights, I hope it works.

I think I'll dig a hole in my wallet during this holiday. I'm running out of shirts and Jeans plus I need to get a pair of shoe. I need to get a camera too cause my sis lost it.. Sian.. So now I'm hoping for a fat bonous this June.

That's all for tonight. zZZzzzzZZZzz

It's so amazing!!

2010-03-24T01:10:00.002+08:00

"What is so amazing", you asked.

Well, if you remember or read my previous post where I felt so bless by my Lovely Father in Heaven, here's an Add On!!

I couldn't believe it myself that I actually Score Full Marks for 2 of the mid-term quizzes. I'm quite surprise actually, when I saw my results and even went to the extend of making sure it's my name!

>> "Really!! 100 marks??"
>> Hmm.. let me see.. Wong Kin Foong [100].
>> Yup and that will be me. Walk off..
>> "Are you sure??" Walk back to see again.
>> "Oh, Really leh, it's 100!"

Ok, it sounded hilarious and comical.
But anyway, really Thank God and also those who prayed for me =)

Oh, another thing. I was caught in a heavy rain today while going to work. I didn't bring my umbrella along. So there I was, stuck in the bus-stop near my office. Ok, it's not really near, about 7 minutes walk Without Shelter!!

What did I do? Basically, there's nothing I could do except wait and pray. So I thought I will pester God and keep on praying till He answers. "Can you please stop the rain, just for 5 min.." and I go on and on and on for about 15 min. I'm sure God did hear it and so I refuse to move even though the rain sort of lighten for a while. I was hoping He'll stop the rain completely. The next thing I knew, it was pouring heavily again. So I kept praying persistently again. It was almost 9 and I don't want to be late for work. So when the rain did lighten again. I took another route, and ran to a nearby building. It was at that exact moment where I saw my colleague, who was driving and I hop on. At that moment, I just felt that my God was so Amazing!

And He's still Amazing right now =)

Busy as a Bee!!

2010-03-13T15:21:00.002+08:00

Time and again, people will ask, "So what did you do during your weekends?"
Always and as usual, I will simply reply,
"What else?? Studying and mugging, eating and sleeping. My life is so monotone and predictable."
Then again, if you ask me this questions during my school holidays, do not expect a boring answer. Haha, sounds like I'm living a double life (The NTU Sebas vs The Holidays Sebas).. haha..

YOG is coming and is being held at NTU, so they decided to shifted back our school term. This means I'll get to enjoy 4 months of holidays from May to Aug, but there is no free lunch on earth. There's always a 'but'. We will compensate it from the DEC holiday. No point vexing over what is in the future, I'm sure I'll adapt to the pathetic short holiday.
Just clear 3 Quizzes on Mon, Tue, Wed. Really "Shiong" to have all 3 quizzes consecutively but now that it's over, what a relive. I can now fully concentrate on my lab report.

Lately, I've been feeling so bless by God. So much till I ask God what did I do to deserve it.

Event 1:
Our lecturers have different sets of quizzes. So for all the 3 quizzes, I manage to get the questions which I know how to do while some of my classmates have weird questions.

Event 2:
My mum always prays for me. I came to realize that when my mum prays, she don't just simply pray blah blah blah blah. But her hearts goes out in prayer to God, with words that cannot express. It connects with God and God listens. I came to believe that if I was not bless with a mum who keeps praying for me, my life would be like a boat rocking in the storm.

Event 3:
God had blessed me with a wonderful job and colleague. I acquired much working experience and skill during this 1 year in the company. I get to learn about computer networking and many other new equipments we have bought. To me, these equipments are like toys that I can meddle with, figuring out how to use and their functions.
Recently, our company had a mass walk (6km) and halfway through, I got a splinter on my heels. Yes, I did wore my shoe and till now, I still cannot solve the mystery on "How did the splinter get into my heels!!"
It was painful because suddenly, you just felt a sharp poking sensation in the leg and I went down on the ground. I took out my shoe and saw a splinter halfway stuck in my heels. It was at that moment, my colleagues came and help me took it out as I cannot reach it easily. And amazingly, our first aider beside happen to have a pincer, if not I don't think I can get the splinter out. I'm grateful for my colleagues.

Thank you God, I felt so bless by You =)

God is Good!!!!!!!

2010-02-04T22:17:00.001+08:00

Yes.. Thank God that I've pass my IPPT and no more going for training. 1 thing off from my "To Do list" =)

God is my Shepherd

2010-01-31T23:27:00.002+08:00

I thought I would crumble under the multiple tasks currently occupying my life, but I was wrong. Seems like God in His Goodness, faithfulness and Kindness had enable me to cope with my work, studies, church activities and Army physical training.

It's amazing how all these activities are nicely lay out in a way they won't crash with each other. And with so much activities going on, I was wondering how am I going to revise and do my tutorials? How am I going to find time to prepare for cell group words? How am I going to find time to fellowship with my sheep (my cell member lah)? Even if I have the time, what about the energy for all these?
So I'm grateful for all the prayers and support my leaders had rendered unto me. Where do I get such nice leaders except God sent.. haha..
Come to think of it, ever since my co-leader Jon had left, my Youth Leader Pauline had been helping me quite alot to get my focus on the cell. God in His wonderful nature had arrange both our working place at Buona Vista so we could meet and discuss over lunch.
As for my studies, I'm amazed that I have more discipline to clear my tutorials and was wondering how did I manage to grasp the concept with so little time.

Indeed God is the source of all these, my strength in time of need. He is my wonderful Shepherd who leads me beside quiet water, in green pastures. Who restores my soul and guides me in paths of righteousness.

Oh Time, where thou art?

2010-01-24T22:44:00.003+08:00

Searching Hi and Low for time!!

Working 8:30 to 5:30 from Mon to Fri..
Schooling 7pm to 10pm on Mon, Tue, Wed, Fri..
2 hours of Army physical training on Thur, Sat and Sun..

I need time to do my revision and tutorials!!

Be filled with the Holy Spirit

2010-01-17T19:51:00.004+08:00

We as Christian seems to give little or no thoughts to the Reality and Power of the Holy Spirit.

If that is true, then why on earth did Jesus said this? "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised... the baptism of the Holy Spirit." (Acts 1:4,5)

He said this just before He was about to ascend into heaven!
This is an important point to note because it shows the value of His message. Out of the thousand and one things He could have instruct, He choose to ask His disciple to wait for the Holy Spirit. Isn't it a bit strange?
Come on, Our Lord Jesus Christ just rose from the death and this breaking news is now traveling throughout the whole region, shocking people all over. Those who wanted to crucify Him are now left speechless, with absolutely no answer as to why Jesus was alive!! By common sense, every corporate minded people will tell you that now is the time to act and not wait. Strike while the iron is hot, now is the time to act and send out teams to advance the kingdom of Christ.
But instead, Jesus ask them to WAIT!
I can imagine Peter saying, "Huh??" then raising his hands and ask, "Err, sorry, I don't think I got you, what did you say again?"
Yes, Wait for the Holy Spirit! Jesus knew very well that His work will never be accomplish by just mere human strength and it is so important for them to wait until they are cloth with Power from heaven. The fact is that we need God, the problem with most successful or highly educated people is that they tend to look on their own strength, own ideas, own method instead of turning to God who knows exactly what needed to be done.

Why do you think Jesus chose the fisherman as His disciples and entrusted them to such an important work of setting up His church and advancing His kingdom?
Did Jesus forgot that His disciples deny knowing Him and fled away just before the cruxification? Did Jesus forgot that Peter had deny knowing Him 3 times and to the point of swearing?
Then how can God let them be in charge of such an important task? It makes no human sense to hire such people as a CEO of a company, to be in charge. But yet it makes a lot of sense to God and He choose them for such an important work, because No Human can ever accomplish the work of God unless God empower him with the Holy Spirit. Luke 12:12 (for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what you should say.") Can we admit that there is absolutely nothing about us but everything about God?

Unless a Christian is constantly filled with the power of the Holy Spirit else he/she will eventually be spiritually dead. Just like a laptop without battery is useless, so is a christian without the Holy Spirit. He/she will not be fruitful. We will lose interest in reading his Word, in praying. Everything about God suddenly seems so pointless. There is no joy in worshiping God, no excitement in serving. Nothing, everything is meaningless. Your spiritual life is like a desert. You need to be charged, to be fill with the Holy Spirit again!

How? Just ask God for it! It is so simple. Luke 11:13 (If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!") If you dare to ask God to fill you with His Holy Spirit, be sure you're prepared for what you're asking because He hears and will ignite your life like never before!

Acts 1:8 (But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you..) The Holy Spirit is the Power of God!

2009 / 2010

2010-01-01T20:02:00.003+08:00

Entering the new year with sweat and pain in the butt!! So before you allow your mind to jump into any conclusion, read on..

For this crossing over into 2010, we (as in Seekers cell) decided to extend our most warming invitation to (Meta cell). Sadly only 4 from meta cell came. Actually this doesn't come as a surprise because this is an overnight event and the parents are all worried for their darling daughters.

Since 2009 is ending, we the leaders (Joanna, Ginelis and me) decided to treat them Swensen ice-cream. Oh boy, it's a big group and we spent around $50 each. Fortunately for us, we've gotten our bonous =)
After our dinner and ice-cream, we laugh all the way at Nat's house because we're playing taboo. The whole house was almost tore down by our laughter. It was really noisy cause it's so fanny (funny lah).

Finally it's 11pm (1 more hour to 2010), it's time for our sweat and pain in the butt adventure. Huh? Yup, it's definitely filled with sweat and causes pain in your butt!! Come on.. what are you thinking.. We are going for an overnight cycling loh. Our route was from Tampines to Changi Village then all the way to East Coast Jetty. Well, it was not all smooth sailing trying to get to East Coast because there were some brake problem in one or our bikes but come on.. we've Wei Liang in our mist, who manage to fix it back with a pen.. yup, I have no slightest idea how he did it. Still we manage to reach East Coast at around 2am. Seriously, our face are all stoning and hungry and our butt are hurting. How we wish we had better cushion seats. But it was filled with fun and laughter as we eat mac and went fishing. Of course the ZzZz monster caught some of us (including me) while we caught nothing at all with our rod. Ok, It's cold sleeping outside and we were all crying for our bed. We really look terrible, so tired and painful. We can't imagine we still got to cycle back to Tampines!!! Setting off at 6:30am, we cycle all the way back with a shorter route to Bedok Reservoir Road to take our breakfast. Goodness, I'm so famish till I ate a bread with 2 eggs plus a plain prata and tosai. Well, I thought of eating both my breakfast and lunch so I could sleep all the way.
Finally we return our bikes at Tampines at 9:30 safe and sound and I took a cab back home. I slept like a baby all the way till 6pm.. what a waste I thought, but it was all fun and both our cell bond even closer now. What a great time =)

It's Christmas

2009-12-24T13:37:00.002+08:00

Watch Him. Watch this Child,
Who grows into a boy, who grows into a man,
And is found to be so much more.

Watch as He is born among shepherds and angels and bright light in the sky.
Watch as He grows in favor and stature,
As a youngster asking questions, giving answers, astounding teacher.
Watch Him in the desert, a young man in prayer,
With hunger and thirst and a calling from heaven.

Watch this strange northerner, with His calloused hands and radical ways,
Who grew up in "pagan" Galilee, whose brothers once thought Him unbalanced,
And whose neighbors once drove Him out of town.
Yet watch His authority, His acceptance, His patience.
Watch Him touch the leper, heal the diseased, cleanse the impure.
Watch Him teach the crowds to forgive and pray always.

Watch Him as He kneels in a garden, and in anguish,
"Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away form Me.
Yet I want Your will to be done, not Mine". Radical submission to a heavenly plan.

Watch as the Son of God is betrayed with a kiss.
Watch as they arrest Him and His closest friends flee.
Watch as He submits to a fate sketched before time.
Watch as they spit on Him and hit Him and crucify Him on a tree.

Watch as one final breath slips from His lips,
The sins of the world on the shoulders of one man.
Then watch, yes watch,
As the stone is rolled away;
An empty tomb filled with Hope and His fame fills the world
This God, this Man, this Boy, This Christmas Child.

The fear of the Lord

2009-12-05T01:27:00.003+08:00

This is what I've lost, and it is something I can't afford to lose it.

Psalms 111:10 (The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.)

Proverbs 1:28 & 29 (Then they will call to me but I will not answer; they will look for me but will not find me. Since they hated knowledge and did not choose to fear the LORD.)

Proverbs 2:1-5 (My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the LORD and find the knowledge of God.)

Proverbs 8:13 (To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.)

Proverbs 10:27 (The fear of the LORD adds length to life, but the years of the wicked are cut short.)

Psalms 86:11 (Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.)

I need a mircale!!

2009-11-19T23:02:00.002+08:00

The worst paper I've ever taken:

80% of the questions are totally different from past years paper.
50% of the questions I don't even know what they are asking.
Purposely come out something that is only 3 pages in the whole lecture notes!!

In short, This paper is simply for the masters student!!
I'm really in need of a miracle to evade this disaster!!

Clearing the dust

2009-11-14T02:39:00.002+08:00

Whoooo....

4 weeks since I've updated my blog. (Not considering this post)
3 weeks since I've log onto facebook. (Must be jammed with notifications)
2 weeks since I've gotten a good rest. (Mugging and Mugging)
1 week since I've check my personal mails... and many more

Can't wait for 1 Dec to arrive and the sound of holidays are sweet. So the first thing I'm gonna do straight after exams is BADMINTON with my classmates.

Kind of interesting how this arrangement came about.. We were all in the car and the conversation somehow changes to badminton.. So we were suddenly all hyped up and astonished, "Oh, so you play badminton too?" And everyone goes like, "Yah Yah, I love to play." So I ask, "Hmm Ok, let's play straight after our final paper?" And the replies goes, "On lah."
It's really a snappy 5 min arrangement. Just jump into it and the responses was overwhelming. Haha

As for this semester, it's the toughest I'm met so far. Maybe I'm being complacent, thinking I still have the time, thinking I can pull it off just like any other semester. Got to change my attitude towards my studies next semester so that I don't slack.

The carnal sebas

2009-10-10T23:35:00.002+08:00

People often says that "Who you are and what you're becoming are closely knitted with your environment."

So true.. Looking back during my childhood days, I'm a carefree, jovial person because I have a "don't care" mentality towards things that are too complicated. A simple mindset and a trusting heart, because that is my family, that is the environment I grew up in.

Okok.. let's fast forward..

Of course all these traits of me still remain in me. But I have to change. I learn to question instead of trust. The world respect you if only you have the ability and so we upgrade. We need to think deep instead of just surface, pay greater attention even to the minor details in life. Competitions are everywhere and how fast you can pick up a skill become crucial. Instead of simply meeting datelines, it becomes meeting expectations plus datelines.
And so Stress and pressure becomes part and parcel of life, or should I say Singaporean life.. We become expert manager (A manager who specialize in managing problems..)

So what's my point?? My point is simple. I have been too dependable upon myself that I forgotten to look upon the Cross. I do actually have a God whom I can trust, who I can call upon. I have taken all the stress upon myself, with my limited resource and talent, I tried to manage my problems, juggle my studies and work and church ministry. I was reminded by Pastor Aaron that I have to always look upon the Cross because that is my compass and Pauline reminded me of where I place my priority and what my attitude should be towards God's ministry.

A timely rebuke, a timely awakening to fix my eyes upon the cross. For the cross is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes.

Christian?

2009-09-21T23:39:00.001+08:00

A Christian?

Several years ago, a preacher from out-of-state accepted a call to a
church in Houston, Texas. Some weeks after he arrived, he had an occasion to ride the bus from his home

to the downtown area. When he sat down, he discovered that the driver had accidentally given him a quarter too much change. As he considered what to do, he thought to himself, "You'd better give the quarter back. It would be wrong to keep it."

Then he thought, "Oh, forget it, it's only a quarter. Who would worry about this little amount? Anyway, the bus company gets too much fare;
they will never miss it. Accept it as a 'gift from God' and keep quiet."

When his stop came, he paused momentarily at the door, and then
he handed the quarter to the driver and said, "Here, you gave me too much change."

The driver, with a smile, replied, "Aren't you the new preacher in town?"

"Yes" he replied.

"Well, I have been thinking a lot lately about going somewhere to worship. I just wanted to see what you would do if I gave you too much change. I'll see you at church on Sunday."

When the preacher stepped off of the bus, he literally grabbed the nearest light pole, held on, and said,"Oh God, I almost sold your Son for a quarter."

Our lives are the only Bible some people will ever read. This is really scary example of how much people watch us as Christians,
and will put us to the test! Always be on your guard -- and remember --
You carry the name of Christ on your shoulders when you call yourself "Christian."

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny

This is how you cross the road??

2009-09-03T19:51:00.001+08:00

".. And this is how you cross the road." Says the rat.

Haha.. 6:15PM and the sun had not yet set, I was on the double decker bus when I saw a rat coming out of a long kang.
"Huh.. what is a rat doing out there?" I thought rats only come out at night..
Then it proceed to cross the not so heavy traffic road and I thought, "Oh no.."
but.. Wow.. the rat manage to cross the road and then realize that it was on the wrong side of the road. So the rat proceed to return home by crossing the road Again, back to where it belong, The long kang!!

Given the imaginative Sebas (Clap hands), I could only say that the rat was trying to conduct a road safety lesson. To show it's fellow rats that, "This is how you cross the road.. Safely!!
Perhaps the next lesson is this: "And this is how you use the traffic light.."

2 cents worth of thoughts

2009-08-29T02:59:00.001+08:00

Can Reality meet face to face with a Pure Heart?
Will a Pure Heart remain unchanged, when she faces Reality?
Or will Reality finally be changed by her Pure Heart?

Reality thought that such Pure Heart doesn’t exists anymore,
Until he saw her.
It took a while before He notice her,
But now, the impression of her is undeniable,
And Her radiance is unquestionable.

Older Brother or Younger Brother?

2009-08-02T18:54:00.003+08:00

I went for the FOP 2009 (Festival of Praise) and Mark Conner from City Life Church in Melbourne was speaking about the famous "Parable of the prodigal son." So I thought, "Yeah, I know that quite well already, what is there to learn from it?" But I was totally wrong, in fact, I couldn't get his message off my mind.

Scene 1:
One day, the younger son who had slack the whole day at home walk up to his Father and demand his inheritances.
"I want my share of the inheritances so I can move out and have a life of my own."
It is as good as telling his dad that I can't wait for you to die, so give me my share of the properties!! But the father, instead of giving him a tight slap, he sold his property and gave his younger son his inheritances. No sooner than that, the younger son began his journey away.

scene 2:
He reaches the city and there he squander all his wealth in wild living. Reality was, as soon as his wealth was gone, so is his "friends". Then a famine came upon the land and he began to be in need and desperate. He hired himself out to feed the pigs. One day, he came to his senses,
"How many of my father's hired man have enough to eat and yet here I am, starving. I know what I should do. I will go back and apologize to him. I'm not worthy to be called your son, make me like one of your hired man."
And so he set off and began his journey home.

scene 3:
The father who was on the rooftop looking out for his son suddenly saw a familiar figure from far. "Is that my son?" He wondered. "It is him!!" and he began to run towards him and gave him a hug.
The son said, "I'm not worthy to be called your son, make me like one of your hired man."
The father, calling out to his servant, "Quick, bring me a robe and a sandals and put a ring on him. Kill the fattest calf and today, we will celebrate."

Scene 4:
The older brother came back from the field and heard music in the house.
"What is the party all about?" He asked.
One of the servant reply, "Your brother is back and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.' "
Upon hearing that, he was furious and refuse to enter the house.

Scene 5:
The father knowing what happen, came out of the house pleaded with him to come in.
The older son reply, "Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!"
My son, the father said, "You are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found."

The story ends here!!

Let's get the context right. The situation was like this, Jesus was gathering with the sinners, and the religious leaders were mumbling, "How come he gathered with the sinners, doesn't he know they are dirty and unclean? How can he mix with them?" And to answer them, Jesus tells them the parable.

Point 1:
In the parable, it's very clear that the religious leaders are referred as the older brother, while the sinners are referred as the younger brother. Of course God was referred as the Father.
Actually in the parables, both the brothers are lost, they are both spiritual empty. The older brother even though he is always with the father is not really close with the father for he mention "all these years I've been slaving for you..."
It is very obvious that the sinners (younger brother) is wrong, but in the end, they come to their senses and realize they need to change.
It is much worst for the lost who doesn't know that they are lost, compared to those who are lost but then know that they are lost.

Point 2:
Before Jesus gave this parable, he gave 2 other parables. A woman who lost her coins, search for it and found it, there is a celebration. A Shepperd lost his sheep, search for it and found it, there is also a celebration. But in this 3rd parable, we expect someone to go and search for the younger son. Now the question is, who is suppose to go and search for him? Obviously it is supposed to be the older brother. But the religious leaders instead of helping the sinners, they lift their heads up high and condemn the sinners. The older brother have a problem with self righteous and pride. And it causes them to be unable to see that they are actually lost as well. Sometimes as older Christians, we thought we are living a good life compare to those who seems to be bad person. Pride had enters in and we forget that the father longs for us to go and find those who are lost and bring them back.
In the end, the story is this, the younger brother is in the house in the party while the older brother who is suppose to be inside the house was now left outside of the house, refusing to enter. The lost didn't know that they are lost..

Sandwiches and busyness

2009-07-24T00:02:00.002+08:00

Just in the month of July, after my birthday, I don't know why am I so attracted to Sandwiches. Is my health conscious acting up? Maybe bah.. It could be due to the many feast I've had for the whole month of June and now I'm getting fat and feeling unhealthy. So my mind makes me crave for a healthier choice.. which is SANDWICHES!!

Anyway, I just found a new way to relax myself and enjoy the day. Just need a book and a cup of Ice mocha latte from TCC. Sitting down enjoying the book and the coffee, then order a plate of sandwiches and munch and back to reading.. Whahaaha.. such a peaceful enjoyment. That is why I'm so determined to become a member of TCC. So if anyone ate at TCC, please keep the recipe for me.. I just need to accumulate $88 worth of recipe and I'll automatic become a member of TCC.

Actually I don't really like to read.. I'm force to read my textbook, my lecture notes.. but I seems to have a curious nature inside me that wanted to know how humans think and function. I enjoy my new book "The five love languages" cause it really give me the insight and experience of why marriage problems aries and the way to interpret it and the way to resolve it. I remember I wanted to study Psychology but I never got the chance. So I ended up taking Engineering. I figure out that if I can't learn how humans think and function, I can still learn how computers work and functions.. So here I am, still on the path of Engineering. Like it but not satisfying cause you're dealing with components and equipments. Something that you can't make an impact. I think I would really enjoy a job that can impact people's life. Maybe that is why I like my ministry in youth, leading the boys as they grow up, teaching them Godly values..

Yawn.. ok, I guess it's time for bed..

What's up??

2009-06-29T21:48:00.002+08:00

Whooo... I went to the cinema for movies instead of going online!! haahaa.. Ghosts of Girlfriend past and then followed by Transformers 2. Next upcoming movie will be Ice Age 3. I think I'm on movie spree since I've found my movies kaki..

I would say that Ghosts of Girlfriend past got a good senses of humor while Transformers 2 is totally pack with actions. I must say transformers 2 is better than 1. This time round, I could at least distinguish who is who when the transformers clash together in a fight.. Not so for transformer 1. It is seriously like 2 pieces of metal scrapping each other. I kind of enjoyed myself with these 2 latest movie.. Hopefully Ice Age 3 won't disappoint me..

I'm seriously getting stress with my job. Thank God I'm still on holiday and also thanks for all the kaki's outing I could look forward to after work. At least it helps me to shed off some stress. I think I'm still trying to adapt to my new environment. With many tasks on my hand, trying to organize and some of my task is quite hard to complete cause I do not know how go about doing it. Engineering is more technical than common sense. So if I really don't know, it means I can't use my common sense to solve it, I need knowledge to know what is wrong.. Sometimes I just can't find the answers and I'll have to ask around. Hopefully I can gain enough knowledge to help to contribute to the work load of my colleague. They have all been very nice and helpful to me.

I must really say God have a creative way of drawing people's attention. Because of this stress, I'm constantly dependent upon God. Everytime a problem pops up, I would turn to Him for advice and help. It really helps alot =)

(Trust in the Lord and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your path straight.) Proverbs 3:5-6

A "Bridge" or a "Closed sign board"??

2009-06-19T23:16:00.003+08:00

Was Reading this passage from the Bible and suddenly it just dawn upon me that the most efficient way of sharing the Gospel is this:

Acts 2:42-47

The Fellowship of the Believers

They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Get the Idea?? Haha.. Nah.. not asking you to sell your possessions and give it all away.. But the idea come from there.
Don't you think that it's really kind of crazy to sell your possessions and share it with others?? So I was pondering how on earth did they do it.. Could they really have no issue with trusting each other??
It definitely seems so, that their bonding with one another is real, not some kind of business scam. It's genuine to the point that they can trust each other with their possessions and money.

Wow.. Then how did all these trust come about?? I was really curious and so I carry on my pondering..
I re-read that passage again and I saw something!! "They gave to anyone as he need!!" Oh.. So I see!!! They all began by helping those in Need. The poor, the widow, the children... and people saw it, day by day and soon enough the news about their love spread.

Wait a minute.. Really?? Is that so simple to gain trust? I mean there must be lots of people of other religions doing good works and helping the poor too. So what's the different?
There must be more to these acts of kindness that spark the community. I was super engross in finding out and suddenly, I saw!! "Every day they continued to meet together... They broke bread in their homes and ate together. with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people." You see!! It's not so much of the help that they render to the needy that caught the attention of all around, but rather the relationship they build from helping others. Any person can part a portion of their wealth and help others. After all, they can earn it back. But anything beyond will be too troublesome, it will involve their precious time and energy!! It is really the community of love that will sustain not the good work alone.

The truth is, people don't just see them doing good works, but rather they see them building a bridge. A bridge that carries genuine love to them and that is the most efficient way of sharing the Gospel!! Are you a bridge in your daily life that connects people to Christ or are you a Closed sign board that turns people away from Christ?

Yum Yum!!!

2009-06-08T20:45:00.003+08:00

I was supposed to go for my haircut today, but something even better at home was tempting me to go home without that haircut. I was longing to go home... to enjoy my mum's cooking!!! It was really some time since she cook again cause she got to work. But now that she had quit her job, I'll get to enjoy eating her foodie.... haha, Just the thought of going home, with my mum's dinner ready, makes me hungry.

I love the mince pork with mushroom.. OH and the vegetable that she so use to force me and my sister to eat when we're young and small.. haha. Although it's just some simple dishes, yet dunno why I'm so enjoying it. I ate a lot!! And if this carries on, I'll no doubt grow fatter.. haaha

I'm so Satisfied today!!

Refreshing touch

2009-06-02T21:55:00.002+08:00

Wow.. can't really express how much I was refresh by God on Sunday at an event call GDOP (Global Day Of Prayer) It's an event where everyone in their nation take this day to gather together and pray. To pray for our loves one in our family, to pray for our friends, to pray for ourselves...

It's been sometimes since I really give it all to God. Somehow, my heart grew cold and distance from God. Tried to seek God but just don't have the heart to do it. Reading His words become like a chore.. Trying to worship but doesn't make sense, those lyrics doesn't speak to me. My desire was on the things of this world.. Too much till I move God aside.

But it was that Sunday, I simply pray that God will work in my heart. That He'll be my desire, that He will once again pour out his love and Holy Spirit to fill me afresh again. I want to experience God in my life again. "I want to experience You, O God." I prayed. Suddenly, really in that moment, what seems to be like a wall between me and God was broken down. It all makes senses suddenly, the love of God seems so real and tears of cleansing flow out. I experience God and His power once again, my soul and my spirit was refresh. I began to see the heart of God, His love for the lost and something big within me began to burst out and I prayed in tongue. I was deeply praying with passion and desire for God's will to be done, for everyone to come to the Love of God and experience for themselves what God is like..

Wow.. I thought to myself now.. This is exactly what every christian should experience daily, that oneness with God, dwelling in His presence. This is the empowerment from God. He had promise to pour out His spirit unto His people and this is exactly what we really need to desire God and overcome the temptation of this world.

I love this slogan: To get a life, Get JESUS!!

Back from Kelong

2009-05-05T21:28:00.002+08:00

I'm back from the Kelong trip.. Well, it's actually 2 Days and 1 night in a kampong style above the sea with no where to run and nothing to do (unless u wanna jump into the sea just for fun)

The first thing when I reach there, the impression it gave me was, "Huh?? Like that one huh, not really what I expected." Like army bunk, it's an open space concept (No room for privacy, just 1 big living room) fitted with more than 40 wooden double decker bed next to each other. Everyone can stare at u sleeping.. haha, but who on earth in the right mind would do that. In the middle there's a TV with cable channels, so at least it's not that boring.. But imagine if everyone were to watch TV, there'll be like more than 80 pairs of eyes staring at that "42 inch black box". Haha.. of course it didn't happen, people are going there to fish. And oh boy.. the fish are huge, big, and must be delicious.. haha.. For us who didn't know how to fish, we played majong, that is basically how we spend most of our time there. Really nothing we can do.

Oh but I love the island visit, we went to play beach volleyball. And seriously, I think land volleyball is more easy. At least you can move easily.. You try running in the sand, it really slow down your movement speed, so your reaction time must be fast. It's fun to dive (fly over) to catch the ball. At least you are falling on the soft sand not the concrete floor. Well, after an hour of volleyball and sand sticking in my body, it's time to dive into the sea.. too bad it's not the clear water type. But I love the wave, cause it's strong. haha.. we were trying to be like those movies where the hero came out of the water with 6 packs looking cool and of course it fail.. haha.. I got only 4 pack, not 6.. haha.. at least I use to have it and it was history..

Simply said, it was a good quiet short trip to get away from our busy life.

Prayers keep Life going on

2009-04-29T22:26:00.004+08:00

Today is my 3rd day of work.. So far I think I'm really enjoying my work. It gives me the challenge that is not over my capabilities yet enough for me to find my own answers and feeling the satisfaction of accomplishing something. Well, I'm helping out at different projects, so running here and there. (hehe.. sorry, my job task is confidential. Zip, haha)

As my ex-pastor said, it's really God's blessing to get such a great job during this bad economic time. I believe that such blessing doesn't only happen to Christians, the blessings actually spread to those around us. Cause we do pray for them. The reason I can get this job is mainly because my classmate refer me in plus I've work as an intern in the company(DSO) during my poly days. I believe prayers is actually very powerful. My classmate says he got funny results, as in results beyond his expectation. But I wouldn't call it funny cause I know the power of prayers. This same classmate of mine is the one who refer me into DSO. haha.. He had a very bad interview at DSO and all the interviewers are shaking their heads (all thanks to some mis-communication with the HR) That interview definitely failed. Then how did he got into DSO?? Strangely he got a 2nd chance, to be interview at DSO again but with another dept. So how did this happen, we all know such cases seldom happen. Again I believe it's the blessing of God, when people pray, we can see the hands of God moving. And because He got into DSO, I too manage to get in. The love of God for us is wonderful, amazing and fantastic!!

Sometimes it's very hard to understand why God doesn't seems to be working or why didn't God work the way we wanted Him to. Maybe our finite minds can't understand the timing of God and God's way is definitely higher than our ways. Actually it's not easy to accept this unless you trust in Him, and we wouldn't trust in Him unless we believe Him, but how can they believe unless we are willing to show them that same love God had for us. Unless we are willing to pray for them and be that light for them.

Thanks for all the prayers during my exams and when I'm sick. Oh.. I happen to wake up in the middle of my sleep and saw my mum laying hands on me praying for my sickness. (I was really sick from flu) Guess what, when I woke up in the morning, my sore throat was gone. But my flu was still there, haha.. Ok, Don't ask me why not totally heal, just got to let God heal in His own time and way.

Jack's place and NYDC

2009-04-25T04:09:00.003+08:00

Yummy.. simply delicious. I just love the famous tenderloin steak at Jack's place (I'm referring to the best part of the cow, the tenderloin, not those cheap sirloin which they sell, you can forget about those).

OH yah, You really won't want any sauce to go with it. Yup, not even a hint of sauce must be found on your beef!! That original taste of the sweet, juicy and fragrance of the tender tenderloin will simply just drip onto your mouth. When you slice the beef, you can literally see the juice coming out and trust me.. you wouldn't want to waste even a drop of that fantastic Juice. You'll use your steak and absorb back that precious juice and put it into your mouth and then suddenly, suddenly you felt so Satisfied. ahaaaaaaaaa.... song lah..

Haha.. so dramatic loh.. Oh for desert, we went to NYDC to eat their cake and again, it's really Good and delicious (only for their cakes, NOT their food. Don't bother to waste your money on the food) I tried their "2x choc cheese cake" and "Choc addiction".
The 2x choc cheese cake is a thick and rich choc cheese cake. It's cover with a rich layer of choc fudge and inside is filled with thick rich choc cheese. Simply said, this cake is very thick and rich in favor.
If you feel like eating some sponge, lighter but delicious cake, you can try their choc addiction which is what I like. Choc power on top of the vanilla sponge cake, middle layer is white choc, bottom layer is thick choc. I'm loving it!!

Jack's place rule the beef while NYDC rules the cakes.. For now it's like that.. haha.. till further discovery.

Exercise??

2009-04-23T19:45:00.002+08:00

The army had asked me to booked my IPPT date, so I've chosen Sat 30 May 09. That means I've got 5 weeks to train, starting from today. I went to check out my passing criteria and I plan to aim for these results:

Sit-up: 38/min (5 points)
Pull-up: 7-8 (3 points)
Shutter run: < 10.3 sec (5 points)
Standing broad jump: 212-220cm (2 points)
2.4km run: < 12min (3 points)

Then I'll get to earn $100 from the army >.< Too bad my jumping is poor, if not I'll aim for silver and get the $200..

Well, I started exercise today evening. Since it's the first time I exercise after a long 4 months. I decided not to exercise "Mind over Body". I'll stop if my body scream "STOP".. haha.. Guess what's the result?? Whaaaaa it's very pathetic!! After doing 21 sit-up, my muscle scream stop.. I proceed to do pull-up.. I only did 5 pull up and my arms yell stop.. argggghh.. Than I did 30 squat-jump and my leg felt like rubber.. I can't imagine I'm this poor. Never mind, I go for my run but I barely hit 1.2km and my whole body says stop..

Since I promise my body that I'll won't push it for only today. I decided to head back home climbing all the way to the 8th floor. I can feel my leg muscles is protesting and I'm panting like a dog. Whaa, I really felt so fed up with my muscles that I said "Shut up, stop acting pathetic. It's not even a proper training."

Well, I've concluded that tomorrow I'll exercise "Mind over Body". I'll refuse to listen to my muscles and push it to the standard I've set. I shall train at least 5-6 days per week.

Exams OVER!!

2009-04-22T20:50:00.002+08:00

Another year, another semester had past by. Exams over but I'm gonna start my New job soon on the 27 April (Mon).

So for now, I have like.. hmm... 4 full days to enjoy myself. Definitely I've got to exercise and start training for my IPPT cause by 24 June (My birthday!!) if I don't pass.. I'm gonna have to go for training which is 2 times per week and it's going to affect my new job since I'll have to leave company early for training.. This feeling is kind of Yucks.. Well, I like to train but don't like to be push at training since I prefer to do it at my own pace.. What to do, this is the duty of Singaporean guys, no point complaining about it..

So let's move on.. Anyway, it's been good 3 months since I've eaten good food. Had been busy studying and eating at hawker center. So today straight after exams, me and my classmate went to paragon to eat the "Soba!!!" at shinbashi soba. Ok, it's a bit disappointing cause their sauce standard had drop, but then their noodles standard had not drop a single bit.. It's very chewy. Oh.. the Fluffy egg was Good!! Still as sweet, juicy and fragrance as ever. I don't mind eating 5 plates of it. ^o^

Waiting for Friday.. going to Jack's place to eat their juicy and tender beef!!!

Solar Storm??

2009-04-08T23:14:00.002+08:00

Ever heard of Solar Storm?? Did you watch Fantastic 4 the movie?? Then you would remember how they gotten their power rite? Yup, it's through the Solar Storm. They were exposed to the radiation of the storm in space and wham.. super power!! Haha.. Of course in real world, you probably won't be able to survive the solar storm. You'll most likely to die from the first wave that hits you, known as solar flare. Well, but if you happen to survive all 3 waves (dream on loh) maybe you'll get your super power.. haha..

Read an interest articles on newpaper. Space scientists warned of a massive solar storm wreaking havoc on Earth in year 2012. Well, the sun goes through a 22 year cycle of fluctuating solar activity and the next peak is expected to arrive in 2012. Basically, solar storm consists of 3 waves:
1st wave, solar flares:
Consisting of X-rays and UV radiation. They basically takes a mere 8 minutes to travel from the sun to the Earth. Commercial airplanes are in extreme danger as the flares can wipe out radio communications on any plane flying in it's path. Satellites might be knocked off their obits and fall back to earth. (So try not to travel too much that year.. haha)

2nd wave, Radiation storm:
Electronics can be fried by this heavy dose of radiation. On Earth, we are shielded by the combined forces of the Earth's magnetic field and atmosphere. But anyone caught outside, like astronauts are vulnerable.
3rd wave, Coronal mass Ejection (CME):
This is the main force of the solar storm and consists of plasma. The plasma interacts with the Earth's magnetic field but the result is highly unpredictable. Hopefully the CME has a north polarity then it'll bounce off the earth harmlessly, but if it's a south polarity, The CME can distort the earth's magnetic field and inducing an overload of current in our power line worldwide.

Simply said, it won't pose any threat to our health directly. After all, solar storms are nothing new. Several hit the Earth every year but most are harmless. But, a particular big massive storm can destroy the tens of thousands of expensive and hard to build transformers that supply power to us worldwide. So blackouts will occurs which are expected to last for months as new transformers are painstakingly manufactured.

Just imagine a world without power: Airplanes crashes, Hospitals highly impacted once their emergency power run out. Without power, food cannot be processed or delivered. Water cannot be pumped from reservoirs into homes. As sewage systems fail, diseases will break out. Horses will replace cars, the financial system will collapse (Isn't it collapsing now??). But look on the bright side, there'll certainly be no more emails for you to clear!! haha..

Anyway, the solution is to shut down the transformer before the storm hits, but then again, technology only allow us to have 45 minutes of early notice and shutting down a transformer needs an hour.. But I don't think there are no solutions, so leave the worries to the scientist and carry on our life as per normal.. haha..

Just releasing it out

2009-04-08T03:27:00.004+08:00

4am.. Still Distracted and couldn't concentrated. My mind is really occupied by something that is bothering me because I don't have the answers. Every now and then I tried to divert myself but to no avail. Like someone pressing the replay button, I keep dwelling upon the distraction, simply because I need the answers to those questions clogging my mind.

It seems to be referring to me but it could also be referring to someone else, trying to search for clues but every clues lead to the same answer, that is "It could still be referring to me or someone else." I do not have any pin point clue.

Well, come to think of it, obviously I do not have any pin point clue. It wouldn't even be called clue in the first place if it's pin point. And I wouldn't need to blog at this moment trying to release my confusion thru writing.

I've asked myself, "Why am I yearning for the answer? And if I happen to have the answer and it's not what I expected, can I accept the answer?"
For a moment, my heart race with anxiousness, don't even know how to answer my own questions.
But after thinking it thru, I recon that this is part and parcel of life and I must have the courage and be fearless to face it because the grace and faithfulness of God is with me.

I will miss all of your

2009-04-02T19:59:00.002+08:00

Sad plus happy.. Well, I've resign from Sanmina-SCI as of today. Happy cause finally I can move on to my next job and lots of time to concentrate on my coming exams.. Sad cause I'll be missing all of your. The job by itself is seriously crap.. plus boring and monotone. It's the people there that really makes this job a different..

Haha.. can't imagine I'm fighting off the tears in my eyes on my way home. Memories of the fun and laughter I had with them really makes me misses them. The thoughts of never seeing them again just wanna make my eyes watery.. They have definitely leave their footprints in my life. After all, it's 2 years and 9 months with them (5 days a week).. Definitely a deep footprints. Whaa I almost shed tears (but I didn't) when they tell me they will miss me, wishing me all the best in my new job. Trying to be man and holding my emotions, I said, "Haha.. we can always meet up again.." Orghh, goodness, the water dam almost broke, fortunately it didn't..

I will always remember the funny stories between Siew Ching and her husband. I always make her tell her stories when the job's getting boring. Oh boy.. I will miss her stories. We piss each other sometimes but most of the time, we laugh and crap jokes.. haha..

And Shao juan, the new girl from depot road.. I remember the first time you bluff me saying you're older than me.. Crap.. I actually believe, only to find out that you're the same age as my sister.

Ah Leong, always teaching me about photographing... and of course helping me in my job when I don't know what went wrong.

... so many flashbacks and beautiful memories to treasure and keep..

**For photos viewing.. go to my facebook and look under the album "Sakura-SCI"

SpongeBob Square Pants?

2009-03-28T19:51:00.002+08:00

So happen that for 2 consecutive sat, I had my lunch at 12:30pm. And everytime I eat at home, i'll confirm multi tasking by eating with the TV on. That's why for 2 sat, i'm watching SpongeBod! Since it start at that timing..

I aways thought it's jus another cartoon for kids.. Haha.. But i must admit it's pretty interesting, it's not childish and i like how naive patrick and spongebob are that always seems to piss off that octopus. I think it's a good 30 mins stress removal. Simply loving it..

If I have the time...

2009-03-08T00:42:00.002+08:00

What would I do if I have the time for it??

I would:

- Go overseas for jet ski and scuba diving, to look at the beauty of underwater world. After that I could look at some land scenery too.. Must enjoy both the water and land beauty!!
- Then come back Singapore for more exercise like Badminton, Soccer and Running!!
- After all these adventures, I think I should tidy up my house.. (Like a pig style loh..)
- OK, next is time to catch up with other groups of friends.
- Oh yah, and also must Watch movies!!! So many nice movies I've miss.. Like "Slumdog Millionaire" and "Benjamin button".

So far that's all I could think of..

The Good the Bad

2009-03-05T12:00:00.003+08:00

Ok, this is just according to my taste!!

The Good
1. Man U had won the Carling Cup by beating Spurs 4-1 in penalties! Plus they are looking good to claim the English Premium league cup too!!

2. It's Confirm!! I'll be starting a new working environment at the beginning of May. A new total different challenge.

3. Though the extra $200 from GST credits seems little, it is still better than nothing!!

4. Income tax is coming.. Huh.. Good?? Cause I do not need to pay a single cents.!!

5. Completed my 19 page Lab report which really wasted my 5 precious day of my life. Why? Cause it is only 1 Credit.

The Bad
1. Ahhhhaaaaaa..... stress!! My Mid term quiz is coming and I'm not well prepared for it.. No worries, I won't stab anyone!!

2. I think I'm somehow fearful of my new job, in my abilities to cope with the demand of the job.

3. Three years till I graduate.. It is really too long!! Can't imagine it!!

That's all.. time is short.. getting back to studies!!

Go learn from the Ants!!!

2009-02-25T18:40:00.003+08:00

I just love the P books.. Hmm?? Huh??

Well, They are the book of Psalms and Proverbs in the Bible.

You can find a lot of similarity in life when reading Psalms as if they were literally describing about your life. It contains the emotions of different people who is going through pains or joy, worries and thanksgiving... Sometimes just reading a chapter of it feels so much relieve that I'm not alone. If you could comprehend what is going on in their life and see the way they express their emotions, you will look at Psalms in a different light. In fact, you'll enjoy it cause you have just grasps an experience of the life of a person at certain point in his life.

Oh.. have I even started to talk about Proverbs? Well, I wish I could literally digest and stick every single guidance found in it. It is known as the book of Wisdom!! Recently it spoke to me from:

Proverbs 6: 6-11
6 Go to the ant, you sluggard;
consider its ways and be wise!

⁷ It has no commander,
no overseer or ruler,

⁸ yet it stores its provisions in summer
and gathers its food at harvest.

⁹ How long will you lie there, you sluggard?
When will you get up from your sleep?

¹⁰ A little sleep, a little slumber,
a little folding of the hands to rest-

¹¹ and poverty will come on you like a bandit
and scarcity like an armed man.

Haha.. it is addressing to the sluggard!! Yup, and that was Me!! I think I've been so slack and not motivated to do my tutorials or even read up my lecture notes. Until the words of Wisdom spoke to me and it's like someone holding a plank in his hand and started to spank me and yelling, "You Sluggard, are you going to learn your lesson!!"

Seems like I've been delaying my revision by saying, "Rest a while more and you can do it later. There's always time tomorrow.." Indeed so true, "A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of hands to rest and poverty will come on you like a bandit" The poverty of revision had indeed caught up with me!!

After 3 semester of doing well for my studies, I thought this sem would be no different. I've been too complacent. I must say these words of wisdom really spank me at the right time!!

Clearing the Webs

2009-02-08T22:38:00.002+08:00

The day I got MOBILIZE!!

Just kanna reservist on Sat (7 Feb).. Which I didn't even prepared for it. And the drama unfolds...

12pm: 1 miss call.
12:15pm: Mindef call to inform me I've got an urgent message.. "press 1 to listen to it!!"
12:16pm: After pressing 1.. "You have been MOBILIZE!! Please report to your unit immediately!"
12:17: $%#&#$.. =( ... Sian ... wasn't ready for it and disrupted my study plan.. Plus I'm the advance party, so got to report within 2 hours..

No need to say, the rest of the drama is to pack my stuff and equipment. All the bags and helmet needed to bring to camp.. Then bath and eat and fly into a cab to Upper Changi North Road that cost me $15.60.. Then what?? Go in spend 15 minutes for inspection and sign out.. I was like.. "You mean That's IT?? I can go HOME???" I expect to do some useful things inside but seems like just wanted to test water to see how fast you can respond!! Sian.. plus I'm carrying so much stuffs.. I decided to take a cab home again and spent $14.60.. Super morale low.. Spent $30.20 for nothing.. Seriously I don't think it's funny or amusing loh..

And I can't even study anymore, no mood for it. So I decided to play computer games and cut my hair.. Well, it seems to work.. After that I began to chiong for my tutorials cause I'm seriously lagging behind by a lot.. Never in my NTU life had I lag so much..

So far so good??

2009-01-24T03:58:00.003+08:00

Few months ago, the world's economic was hit. One by one, the problems surfaces and escalated, rolling into a giant snowball and hitting everyone on it's path.
Well, back then if you would have ask me for my viewpoint, I'll most likely reply like this, "What's the big deal about this recession? Why is everyone so worried about it? I'm still having OverTime work and Bonus"

Maybe that's because I've yet to feel the effect of this recession. Yes, it's true that the snowball had landed hard on the Americans but Singapore is so far away with diversify tradings and investment. That's what I thought, but now I'm feeling the ripple effect of it. Yes, it's painful.. So what happen? Did I get Axe?? .... Erm... Of course not lah!! But still it's not any better.. Cause my company is going to cut cost by operating only 3-4 days per week. Meaning everyone's salary drops by a few Hundreds. I can feel the pain now..

Then looking on the bright side, I can now concentrate more on my school work..

Two oh oh Nine!!

2009-01-01T17:33:00.002+08:00

Gone were the days of 2008 and the dawning of two oh oh nine..

Somehow I can't help but felt a sense a lost and unfruitful now!! Maybe it's partly due to the lack of sleep.. I was awake the whole night with my boys in their house.. Or maybe the thoughts of starting school once again, battling the stress, racing with time for tutorials affected my mood..
I don't know!!

But on the other hand, the thoughts of God's faithfulness which will be with me in 2009 brings much comfort, a sense of peace seems to have descended upon me..
Wonderful pleasant memories of my friend who love the gift I bought race through my mind. The joy and the tone of expression seems to be imprint onto my mind.

Such memories really add colors to my life..

ThanksGiving

2008-12-29T13:49:00.002+08:00

The year 2008 is almost over with 2009 dawning in just few more days. Usually around this time, I'll reflect upon my life and the people around me. Questions like, "Is there anything about me that need to be change? Did I treat my mum well? Did I just waste away this year or did I do something meaningful?" ... And the list goes on

All this reflection and pondering results in thanksgiving. A sense of warmness and heart felt thanks arise to people around me and especially to my Faithful God. I've always remember this phase from the movie, "Facing the Giants" (About a football team becoming a champion). The coach said, "If we win, we'll praise God, if we lose, we will still praise God. So go all out and do your very best and leave the rest to God. He will do what is best for us."

Looking back, God had really been so faithful. He's always guiding me in my studies, in my workplace and in my cell leading ministry. Placing people along my way to encourage and strengthen me in life. Reminding and rebuking me of the things I did or said wrong, that sense of guilt and shame molded me yet knowing full well that I could return to the place of arms open wide with love poured out and grace to forgive me.
You know Dear God, that I don't deserve all this, but still, You've never left me but took me in like your child. So thank you Father God..

To my NTU classmate: (Paul, Ashin, Joanna) This is for your!!

I've always been asking what did I do to deserve such great people like your who makes my studying so much interesting and motivated. I remember our really crappy nonsenses during our period of stress.. haha.. And also how our talents cover each others weakness, working as a team with no selfishness. And also the feasting we have during our holidays. Well, still a long way to go loh.. let's carry on our battle.. ahhhaaa school starting soon!! AGAIN.. haha!

Running

2008-12-18T20:55:00.007+08:00

Finally I went for a run today from my house to Mount Faber.. Come to think of it, it's quick near, about less than 10 minutes run.. according to my speed =)

Took some pictures from the Mount:

The top of the world..

This is a rather steep slope down, and that's a drain..

I'm standing between the picture shown on top and below..

This is the car park. Nothing special, I've got to go through it before coming to where I am.

This is where I'm going to run next.. It always looks challenging to me.. that flight of steps..

Well, in case you're wondering how high did I run up.. haha.. I'm not even one fifth up that Faber.. In fact, I consider myself still at the base.. I've already used 10 minutes of my energy to reach the base from my house.. It'll be tough to continue run up that flight of stairs.. I'm sure I'll have a much nicer scenery from the top but I'll need a partner to run up with me.. If not.. I think I'll rather run back than to challenge that flight of stairs.. Anyone passionate to run with me up there?? Haha.. I'll welcome you =)

The Holiday is too Short!!

2008-12-16T21:46:00.002+08:00

Just came back from a badminton game with my company people.

Somehow, It seems like the holidays are nearly over.. 3 more weeks and I'll be back to being a bookworm.. study, Study, STUDY!! Ahhhhhhhaaaaaa..

Anyway, I've been playing badminton every week plus 1 game of table tennis with my NTU friends. I just love to exercise and my body is screaming "Not Enough". It's really great to sweat it out!! And I'm really yearning to go for a run but seems like I'm always stuck in front of my computer.. Sian.. Well, hopefully I'm able to go for a run this Thursday.

Oh, just recently on Sun, I went with Mark and MingJie to visit Andrew and I'm really happy and amaze at his speedy recovery from his motorcycle crash. It's been almost a year. Now he is able to move his legs and hands plus talk a bit, but still not so clear. I'm glad he could remember me and able to laugh at MingJie's lame jokes.. haha.. Well, Really pray that next time when we visit him, he can start to eat. Cause now he drinks using a tube connected to this stomach. Meaning he can only drink liquid stuff and not solid food.

To God be the Glory for He is our Healer!!

part 2

2008-12-11T20:26:00.002+08:00

... Continue from previous post...

It's good to finally have a keyboard to type the words rather than through sms method.
Anyway, surfing internet through the phone can really eat up alot of your battery.. Just within 2 hours of surfing, my battery can drop from full bar to low batt!! Amazing!!

Well, Yesterday was a very enjoyable night. I went to Adeline's birthday party. Oh and I must comment, I've never tasted so nice fruit punch and chicken wings.. I could just keep eating non-stop!! Simply delicious wings and refreshing drink.. I'm craving for it now by just thinking of it..

Oh, and I love the shock on Adeline's face when she open our present (Proudly sponsor by Me, Sarah, Jinny and MingJie) and saw the Cannon Ixus 870. She couldn't believe it that we really bought it for her, but we're so glad she like it very very much!!

After that we played 2 games of saboteur. I still like the first game where I manage to fool everyone pretending to be a miner when I'm actually the saboteur.. Of course the Saboteur win that round.. but not the next.. haha, i think this is really a classic game for all.

In the end, we miss the last mrt train.. Oh.. It's already 11:28pm when we reach pasir ris Station.. So I took cab with Sarah cause we stay quite near to each other. Oh.. I'm so amazed at the place she stayed, It is so beautiful, just like a condominium. I'm really in awe.. I think it's so much nicer than the low houses which she mention..

Well, even thought I only slept for 4 hours that night, I'm very happy cause I really enjoy myself!!

When u update blog without a keyboard!

2008-12-11T12:13:00.003+08:00

Guess what, i'm actually updating this blog now using my newly bought N85 and i think it's going to take quite some time to finish, cause no keyboard lah. I jus love the usefulness of a wifi phone.. Yup, this is my update (i've gotten a new phone) Ahaaa.. I just realise that a phone doesn't have an 'Enter' button to go next paragraph and i think i've just pressed like a million time of spacing to come to this paragraph. This is getting too troublesome and i'm gonna give up. I'll update it when i'm at home.

A sermon that spoke to me

2008-11-20T00:58:00.002+08:00

Recently, there was a confirmation service and so our Anglican bishop John Tan came down and spoke to us. Well, he was humorous for I expected a bishop to be stern and serious. And as he spoke, I realize he was well experienced in life too. His message was "Staying connected with God".

I remember him asking us, "What time does your service starts?"

"9am." we replied.

"And what time does it ends?" He asked.

"11am." We replied.

"You know people, many of us come in at 9am and began to plug in the switch into God's socket and connect with Him. Then at 11am, when the service ended, we unplug our switch and disconnect with God. No, this shall not be, this is not your internet connection..."

Hahaha.. well, funny as it sounds, it sure pack a punch and causes me to think, "Did I treat God as an internet connection?"

He goes on to speak about John 15:1-5, about Christ being the vine and we are the branches. Christ had said, "Remain in me, and I will remain in you. (Not vice versa) No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing."

"Well, most of us will always take care of our body, right? Nowadays, we have all sorts of expensive facial cream where by they can practically remove anything you think is horrible, except your worries and stress... And we have neglected our spiritual health, because we think that our physical needs is more important than our spiritual needs.
As much as food is important to our physical body, God is also as important to our spiritual life. Don't you remember how you were form? We're form In the image of God spiritually for God is Spirit and physically from dust.
Genesis 2:7 (The LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.)
When God form us from the dust of the ground, we're still lifeless. Only until God breathed his Spirit unto us then we became a living being. You recognized the order here? It is not the physical that gives life to the spiritual but rather, the spiritual that gives life to the physical. That which is of the body (physical) may die and return back to the ground but not so for our spirit, we will still live. It's only a matter of living with God or without God for eternity. Therefore; that is why it is so important to be connected with God Always. Your status with God must always be "Online", not "Busy" or "Away" or "Be Right Back"; or even worst "Appear Offline"...

Don't be a Sunday Christian only, be connected with Christ the other 6 days too!!

Settling in the Dust

2008-10-29T22:13:00.003+08:00

Whooo, my blog was almost covered with "dust and dirt". Hmm.. sounds familiar, I think I saw it somewhere before but couldn't remember now.. Anyway, it's being left untouch for nearly a month..

Looking at the calendar, my exams is coming in 2 weeks time.. OH Gosh.. times really fly and Christmas will be here soon!! Well, just being notified that next year, I'll have 2 slots of sermon.. Might push down one if really can't handle. Come to think of it, I'll be having 4 modules again next semester. Haiz, I think this verse is suitable for me now, "Matt 6:34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

And that is the slogan on the American dollars which makes perfect sense, "In God we Trust". But then it looks like irony in the face of the "Great Recession". Maybe it's just another slogan for the people but it's actually strength for those who are desperate and their last ray of hope hangs upon God. With great faith, they turn to God for help and return to Him, at the last minute.

Great Poem that Inspires Me:
Leftovers are such humble things,
We would not serve to a guest,
And yet we serve them to our Lord
Who deserves the very best.
We give to Him leftover time,
Stray minutes here and there.
Leftover cash we give to Him,
Such few coins as we can spare.
We give our youth unto the world,
To hatred, lust and strife;
Then in declining years we give
To him the remnant of our life.

Have a Kit Kat, Have a break!!

2008-09-21T23:02:00.004+08:00

Did you smell it and hear it? It's finally here.. The arrival of the 1 week term break has begun. Seriously looking back few weeks ago, I don't know how did I manage to survive with 4 days of schooling and of course plus working. But by the grace of God, I manage to survive, did not fall sick or what so ever but instead, I've got 19/20 for one of my quiz. A testimony unto my faithful God. Praying hard for my next 2 quiz which so happen to fall on 2 different weeks, I'll have more time to prepare for it.

Well, today's sermon was boring but good.. HUH? Boring and Good? Yah, seriously, I sort of fell sleepy for the first 10 minutes or so but was wide awake after that. Dunno why, but I seriously think God woke me up to listen to His word cause the message really spoke to me. It's about the wisdom of man versus the wisdom of God. I love this verse in 1 cor 1:25 "For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength."
It's kind of easy to agree with it with our mind, intellectually. After all, we know God is so much better than us. But then to believe it, it's another thing. So often, we think God does not know the system of how this world operates. I guess if we could, we would like God to read this book called, "Dummies for living your life on earth."

Examples, the world says; "Life is all about fun and enjoyment", but God says "Life is about loving Him and one another."
The world also says, "Honest and truth leads you nowhere, you need to be selfish", but God says, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves (Phil 2:3)."
The world says "Power and money is everything." But God says, "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs (1 Tim 6:10).
(I struggle with Patience) The world says "Do what you want now or live to regret it", But God says "He has made everything beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11)"

I'm always afraid of making wrong decisions that I'll regret or miss a good opportunity. So it seems hard for me to wait. Every time I'll be asking questions like, "God, you sure a not? How long you want me to wait? Is it now? Ahhhh.. God, why so long one?"

I'm reminded that God is all knowing and faithful unto us. Romans 8: 28 (And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him..) I've got to learn to surrender to the wisdom and faithfulness of my God who loves me and not let my so call "smartness" get the better of me.

Random updates

2008-09-06T00:36:00.002+08:00

Well, I'm still as busy as a bee, rushing to understand my modules and finishing my tutorials so as to get enough practice. Preparing for cell group and waking up in the early morning for work. But putting all these aside, what will I be doing??

Well, I'll be doing what you're doing now!! Surfing net, updating blogs, listening to music.. the list could go on.. Then more than all these, I'll prefer to hang out with friends and talk, with the mentality that there's no work the next day, no tut to finish, no urgency of any kind. Just a relax setting for enjoyment. (See, I'm so craving for slackness, just slack a day will do.)

Talking about friends, I recently had a interesting dream about my friend. Interesting in a way that in both dreams, the same person appeared. (I wonder if God put any meaning in that dreams.. haha) Well, too bad it's not a continue dream whereby the story got part 2.. Still Thank God it is a pleasant and wonderful dream.. Too bad it's not a reality.

Lastly, and finally it's here.. the 40% subsidies for part time students school fee is here.. meaning instead of paying $6600 a year, I just need to pay $4000..

God is Good and is Faithful, He works all things beautiful in His time!!

Worshipers or Spectators?

2008-08-23T11:47:00.002+08:00

Have you ever felt like you don' have the mood to worship God or halfway during the worship, your mind just wonder off to another world, or maybe during the worship, you just can't help but comment on the worship leaders, the drummer, the guitarist...

Well, I had that pretty often nowadays. (Yeah I know, it's a sign of not so close with God)
Ok as the story continues, I'm getting frustrated and so 1 Sunday during worship, I just pray and ask God to "Make" me able to worship Him. Guess what? My mind just wondered off right after that prayer... I was commenting about the drummer in my mind and all of the sudden, God spoke to my mind,

"Are you a worshiper or a spectator?"

I was stunned, for I knew I was a spectator at that time. And God continue to tell me the meaning of a spectator.

"A spectator is someone who view the whole thing and comment on whether you like it or not, whether it suit your style. The main person is You!"

I was like err.. asking myself "Since when did worship revolve around me? Shouldn't it be all about God, giving Him all the Praise and Glory due His name.
The one who is suppose to be enjoying the worship of His people is God, not me!!"

"It's a delight to know that God loves our worship, for there is where I draw my strength."

Week 1 is over!!

2008-08-12T18:54:00.002+08:00

It's already the 2nd week since school reopen. And I notice the number of students compared with last year had drop by almost a quarter.
Somehow I can't help but feel that I'm in the TV game series call "SURVIVAL".
Already a quarter of my "so call classmate" had been Voted Out, and now left the rest of us to continue the survival of the fittest in the so call jungle of "Bell Curve". Who shall remain and who will be send back home? The answer can only be found in our Examination!!!

Argggg, this semester is hard!! It's only the first tutorial and I couldn't even do it.

Time to turn on the engine...

2008-07-31T19:41:00.004+08:00

So fast, 3 months are gone.. Holidays are over soon and I guess it's time to turn on my engine.. VROooooommm...

Well, this semester is going to be tough. I'll be attending classes 4 days per week, that means I only get to rest on tue and rush on sat and sunday.. Really "Siong" (fierce loh).. So if you out there happen to read my blog, please do keep my in Earnest Prayer that I can score B+ for all my modules. I'm so gonna be lag of sleep for another 17 weeks..
Counting down for my next holiday =) haha.. Perhaps that is my only morale booster.

(Isaiah 40:30-31)
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

I guess I should update rite??

2008-07-19T22:40:00.002+08:00

Yeah, being slacking from this blog toooo long.. Well, let's start with the latest update cause I pretty much forgotten the earlier ones.. hehe..

Oh, went with my old polytechnic crusade friends to Ikea to eat, the one at Queensway.. Wow, I love their meatballs so much that I think I can eat up 50 of them.. So nice!! plus their sauce is superbly marvelously delicious. I just love Swiss food, their poach salmon is really good too. Another different kind of own signature sauce.. Simply irresistible!! As for the rest of the food, you can forget about it.. except maybe their chicken wings and spaghettis. Not really super nice but still above average. It's a must try combo.. meatballs plus salmon that cost you less than $20 or maybe around there.

Ok, enough of food.. I must be so full that I almost got into an accident.. But thank God it didn't happen.. really thank God for watching over us. I drove out of the car park to get into the main road but on the most left lane are a long stretch of cars waiting to get into the car park. Well of course these cars block my view and form a blind spot for me. I saw no car and I decided to drive on but almost out of a sudden, one car appear. Thank God my car speed was not fast and I just need to tap my brake to avoid the accident. Not really those drama Emergency brake that makes everyone fly in front.. haha.. Thinking about it now, It's pretty scary. Life is so fragile!! I guess I rather have a scary near accident than a real accident.. Lesson learn: Blind spots is deadly!!

Oh God, A poem (I'm wasting away!! SOS!!)

2008-06-15T18:47:00.003+08:00

A month of holiday had just passed by,
I think I'm wasting away my life..
I've had too much gaming,
Too much pleasure and self indulging.
Oh what a lifestyle I'm having,
So sick and disgusting.
I prefer to do something meaningful,
That my soul be full.
Then I realize that It's You I need to Please,
It's You I need to turn my Eyes to.
Restore to me the joy of yours, dear Father God,
That I may dwell in Your presence.
Show me Your ways O Father,
Guide me in Your truth and teach me,
For You are God my Saviour,
And my hope is in You all day long!

Happy Father's Day =)

Now then update!!

2008-05-16T22:23:00.004+08:00

School's over yet I'm still so busy.. Hmm.. let's take a look at what I'm busy with??

Many things, like playing games and badminton every week and doing up an event for my sister.

Well, just celebrated my Sis 21st birthday at Holland Village at Essential Brews cafe. Quite tiring though cause I was like a mini MC for that evening hosting games and "Lucky Draw" plus making the guests feel welcome and that the program runs smoothly. Well thankfully all turn out well and fun, but I'll think twice next time to do such a thing, it's makes me too busy to enjoy the food and it's tiring and stressful. Just to give a bit of details, we had a ice breaking game call human bingo. They will need to move around to get signatures of the person that fits the categories in row, column or diagonally, in this manner, they will get to know the different groups of people. Clever rite.. hehe, idea is from Don.. Haha.. after that is dinner. Well, I love the mushroom soup and the rest of the food was quite average, maybe I got no time to savor the food properly =(
Now the fun begins, It's a quiz about my sister and the questions are simply make insane. Don't be sad if you can't answer it, nobody could unless it's a lucky guess.. hehe, cause she wanted to see people do a forfeit of sucking in Helium gas and sing. In these way, their voice will sound like chipmunks.. Haha..
Oh, did I mention about the lucky draw. The prices are "Pasta mania for 2", "Spa therpy", "A visit to the art museum", "Candle light dinner for 2" and the grand price.. "A notebook with Intel core 2 dual".. I believe you're shock to read this rite? Let me reveal what is going on. The pasta mania is actually 2 packets of "India imported pasta maggie mee" while the Spa therpy is just a spa shampoo. If you want the spa, just scrub it yourself.. haha.. You can imagine the look on the faces of the people.. All burst out into laughter.. I guess it's pretty enjoyable, at least for my sister for fooling so many people..haha.. ok, let's continue with the art museum.. actually it's just a photo stand, the art is whatever you choose to put inside, hehe. Needless me to say, candle light dinner is just 2 candles, dinner not provided, each sold separately =) So I think you have figure out what is the grand price. It's just a simple book where u can write lah.. but I actually pasted a Intel core 2 dual sticky on the book. So that is how it came about!!
Basically, the whole thing end around 10pm with everyone enjoying the evening. I'm such a wonderful host.. haha.. just kidding.. but at least I'm not bad either =)

There must be more than these..

2008-05-02T21:06:00.002+08:00

I don't know if your ever ask these question before; "Is there more to life than what I'm having now?" For me, I've asked that many times before. Of course if you're enjoying yourself, you won't be asking this question. But after that, when all is done and over and you reflect back your life. You'll somehow find life is pretty meaningless and feel a sense of emptiness in your heart. It'll seems like you're searching for something better, but never finding it and not knowing what is it you're searching for.

Some people thought that "something better" is results, but exams after exams with A grades after one another, still he/she is not satisfy. Or maybe it's money, but I guess not; 1 timothy 6:10 says " For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs."

What is that "something better"? If it's not results or wealth, then most likely it might be relationship, for God in the beginning had already place relationship dear to our hearts, be it friendship, family or parents. In Genesis 2, it tells us the account of God's creations of mankind. "The LORD God formed the man.. from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.. The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh. Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." In Colossians 3:20, God says, "Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord." There are many more verses that tells us God values relationship, for our God is a God of love, and when there is no love, there will be no relationship. Then does it mean that a relationship on earth is the solution to our meaningless life? Does it mean that all of our life, we are actually searching for a earthly relationship, and until we reach that goal then we'll be satisfy in life? Well, sadly to say, the answer is No. Although, it's true that God values relationship but it's not these earthly relationships that truly will satisfy us. Instead, it's a relationship with God that will ultimate satisfy us. Do you not know that God had created us in His own image? Of all of His creation, He choose to make us in His own image (Genesis 1:26 "Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."). There is nothing that is greater or can even be compare with God and that is what we are actually searching for, a relationship with God, of knowing God himself. Do you realize that people all over have been trying to find God in many ways, like religion and philosophy or by doing good works. Because it is very clear that nothing on earth will be able to satisfy our hearts desire, cause nothing can last forever on earth. All things are perishable and will be gone. We human know that it's foolish and meaningless to cling to something that will perish or gone, so there must be something better that will last and it must be none other than God Himself. For Christ Himself said in Revelation 22:13 " I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End." Simply means God is forever, if there is a beginning and an end, He is there.

In conclusion, Results drop and rise, wealth accumulate and fall, relationship comes and goes. Anything on earth is sure to perish. Ultimately the only hope that will last is in God Himself. We're created by God and only Him alone can truly satisfy us. Just like a child yearn for his/her parent, we too yearn for heavenly father, our creator.
Psalms 34:8 (Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.)

It's time for updates!!

2008-04-27T23:08:00.002+08:00

Exams are over, but still got to work!! Well, at least that means i'm not a total slacker!! Anyway, I don't like to wake up early since i'm so used to waking up at late morning during the past week. What happen to the weather nowadays, it's really terribly hot.

Ok, let's see what I've got to do during the holidays.. seems like a long list:

1. Cut Hair.
2. Tidy Up my house.
3. Train for my IPPT.
4. Prepare my sermon.
5. Study for my next semester modules (No choice since I got 4 modules next semester, Crazy!!)
6. Watch finish my movies.
7. Play BADMINTON!! (Of Course!!)

Proverbs 16:3 "Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed."

Dear Father God...

2008-04-05T23:31:00.002+08:00

Dear Father God,

Just want to say how amazing you put everything in place. You provided the right friends at the right time. You have grant me wisdom and understanding for my studies. You've brought along trials that builds me up. You've Given me talents not to keep but to serve others.. And the lists just goes on.

But I love especially the moments with You during our prayers, when I knew in my heart that You have spoken and suddenly, spring forth hope and faith, with strong assurance that it will be done as You have promised. When it seems so stressful out in the world, You spoke Your word and it shines like light in the mist of darkness. Truly how refreshing and marvelous are Your words, they are like spring of living water to me.

Oh, how wonderful the way You've provided for me, when things just fall in place. Even though I waver with doubts many a times, yet You remain faithful time and again.

So now Dear God, I place my fears and struggles in exchange for your peace and strength knowing full well that You work all things good for those who love you, in Your perfect timing.

Holiday is just round the corner

2008-03-31T22:19:00.002+08:00

The self deceive part!!

Yes, finally semester 2 of year 1 is ending and the long awaited 3 months holiday is dawning.. just round the corner.. It's a good news!!

Now this is the truth!!

But before I can reach the corner where the holidays lies. I've got to first, walk down the path that leads to the corner.. And that path is the path of examination!! Ahhh... exams are super near.. Counting down 17 days..

Pls keep me in your prayers..

My first Reservist

2008-03-20T21:25:00.002+08:00

Before:
Seriously, when I've receive the call up that I need to go for my reservist from 13 mar to 17 mar.. I really drag as the days draw nearer. Mainly because I'm not told what is my role, (Combat or Service side). Then I've got to dig up my SBO, Field pack, helmet and all my army stuff to wash and clean them as they are collecting dust and it smells badly =(
Finally, I've got to attend Lecture and finish my tutorial.. I was thinking where to find time for it..

After:
I really enjoy my 4 days of reservist even though it stretches from 7:30am to 10pm. Meaning I miss 1 week of lecture and tutorial. Anyway, I've been posted to Intelligent side, a confidential sector so I can't say much. But 1 thing that really worth mentioning is the team work between each other and how everyone work in regardless of rank. Everyone is equal and do their job with respect for each other. Even though the job scope is quite rush and demanding (top speed and accuracy) yet everyone is putting in 100% effort in their job with high morale. It really make the whole job a lot more exciting and challenging. The attitude from everyone there is very positive. Although this 4 days is just a rehearsal for the final exercise during end of the year. I really enjoy myself and hope to make it for the final exercise as required but I may have to defer due to my exams. Haiz.. hopefully it would clash..

How 6 songs collide

2008-03-09T20:35:00.002+08:00

I love the way they mix these songs.. It is so pleasing to my ears.. so happy!!

The mirror we need

2008-03-04T22:14:00.002+08:00

We really can't help but drawn towards the pleasure and desires of the world. After all, we're constantly rubbing with the motion of the world, and influence by it. Somehow more true, if one is in the working world with working ethics and values of set by people for own benefits. Strangely, they can really package their values and ethics as an attraction to those who doesn't have it. In a way, it seems wrong yet often you'll find yourself following them after a while because this is the way things work there. What seems to be detestable and wrong to me in the beginning seems so normal now. Slowly we began to be immune to the sins in it when the bible clearly tells us in Romans 12:9 to hate what is evil and cling to what is good.

I guess we really be misaligned from the truth of God easily. Don't be surprise that at the end of a day, you find yourself stray so far from the truth of God. No wonder in Psalms 139:23-24; David cry out to the all knowing God with this verse, "Search me O God and know my heart, test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me to the way everlasting" What David really asking God is this, "O God, tell me what you see in me. I want to know what you saw." David wanted to see in God the mirror image of himself. After all, a straight mirror don't tell lies.

This is the mirror I ask of God and I saw the ugly side of myself recently. Too ashame to tell. It's time for the word of God to change me inside out once again, to clean up my heart and thoughts and attitude.

Busy recess week

2008-02-26T22:50:00.002+08:00

It's School holiday this week but I don't think I can have a break cause I've got a math Quiz this friday.. Been studying almost every single day for it.. and Yes, It's smack right in the holiday week.. Hopefully I still can have my badminton on Sunday, So Paul, if u're reading this.. haha.. u know the timing rite..

Watch PS, I Love You and it's good. I thought all romance movie is around the same thing, but this is totally different.. well it's a thumps up if you're a gal but maybe for a some guys, it's not their cup of tea, cause the show.. err.. go watch and u'll know, it's a emotional show.. That's all i can say.

I need sleep now.. real badly..

Oh, pray for my quiz too..

The train started moving.. again..

2008-02-12T21:03:00.000+08:00

Yes, finally our group finish our research proposal with everyone satisfy. After weeks of drafting and amending and rewriting since it's not easy to please everybody. We finish it on the 3rd day of Chinese New Year.. I guess it's the first time where I did "work" on CNY!!

So here's a "Well Done guys!! But The end is not here.. still got our final report.. AHhhhhhaaaaaa!!"

Hmm.. just a thought.. Although both Engineers and English starts with 'Eng' I don't they they can click well that easily.. I rather click with maths.. hehe..

And so, the train starts moving once again, completed my tutorials and revision. I want my B+ this semester. Praying hard..

Fun?

2008-02-10T21:48:00.000+08:00

Suddenly, something just tell me that I've been chasing the pleasures of the world too much. Maybe it's because of the holiday mood? Maybe there's too many interesting movie around? Started playing game when I'm not supposed to since I'm still in the middle of semester 2. Doesn't feel like staying at home but wanted to and hang out with my friends. No mood to study..

What on earth is going on with me?? Seems like I'm not satisfy deep within. I guess I've lose focus on God.

Like a dark cloud that passes by...

A Righteousness is revealed

2008-02-03T17:45:00.000+08:00

The book of Romans in the Bible written by Paul, never fails to bring truth and transformation to those who studies it.. Because it is about the Gospel of Christ, the power of God to give salvation for everyone who believe. Romans 1:16b

It all begin with "For in the Gospel, a Righteousness from God is revealed... Romans 1:17"

To be righteous basically mean to be right. And to be declare righteous by God means you are not guilty of any sins or any wrong. How then is anyone able to be declare righteous by God, since all of humankind fails to live up to the standard of God which is blameless and holy. Then the only thing left of us is to face the wrath of God, to face what our sins deserve which is death, meaning eternal separation from God. And a word not nice to say is eternal death in hell, cause if God is in heaven, separating from God literally means hell.
Well, one may argue that it's not fair of God to set such a standard that nobody can achieve, and that God should lower the standard, maybe say, "This certain sins is all right, I'll close one eye about it.." But NO, no way God can do that, cause God will Cease to be God if He do that.. You see, God's attributes and character is one of blameless, upright and holy. There's no way He could just tolerate sin and close one eye to it. The penalty of sins have to be paid in full. "For the wages of sin is death.. Romans 6:23"
If such is the case, how can humankind make right with God? Is humankind left to doom?

Well, basically, by our own works, we can't make right with God for we're guilty, yet No, we're not doom. Cause a righteousness from God is revealed, not of our own but God presented it to us. Who is that righteousness? It is none other than Jesus Christ. Since by our own work, we can't attain righteousness, God in His Grace and mercy and love for us gave His one and only Son Jesus Christ (The blameless one) to pay for our penalty of sins. For the wages of sins is death and He carried all of our sins and nail it together with Him on the cross in death so that our sins, can be done away with, once and for all. Yet it doesn't just end there, for on the 3rd day, Christ rose again, to prove that death has no mastery over him, that He had conquered death, that He ultimately is God who alone is able to save us from our wretched sins.

So from now on, whoever believe in Christ will receive this righteousness. God now sees you as righteous (not guilty) because of the work of Christ, and not because your own work.

So does that means we can now go on sinning since we've already receive that righteousness? No! by no means you should do that...
but then again, that is another lesson, another topic for another time.

For your Reading Pleasure.. (Entertainment section)

2008-01-27T16:11:00.000+08:00

**Read it as though you're watching "The Noose.."

Dear readers,
We're sad to inform you that lately, about a week ago, a Christian bookshop called "Life" undergoes huge changes. In what we known as an overnight event, all it's outlet has Disappeared!! (Oh NOoooo!!) So out of "Concern" (Maybe more of busybodies) , people from all ages and walks of life in a little country call Singapore are asking the same question all over again, "Where's life?" or "Hey dude, did you happen to see any life around?" Somehow according to our Puppy Razi (Paparazzi), the situation is throwing everybody into confusion. Especially the non-christian.. Let's take a look over at the interview section;

Puppy Razi: Hey, Mr... Yes you.. the one with the green shirt..
Green shirt guy: Oh mi?
Puppy Razi: Yah, you.. (We happen to know he's a Christian) So sir, have you heard any thing lately about the disappearing of life?
Green shirt guy: Sob sob.. yes.. it's so sad, it all happen so fast. I never.. never (voice sounded like crying..) never actually had a chance to cherish life.. And now.. now it's all gone.. There is no more LIFE!!! (He just ran away bursting off in tears.. we never seen him after tat..)

After such an emotional interview, our puppy razi decided to take a break near the moonbucks near by. (They can't resist the coffee aroma therapy..) But it prove to be a wise decision cause we unravel some interesting findings from non-Christian.

At a corner in moonbucks, there sat a few ah bengs: (conversation goes like these)
Ah beng 1: Tell u huh.. dunno what is long (wrong) with people nowadays. It very fanni (funny).
Ah beng 2: Wat so fanni?
Ah beng 1: Seeems like huh, alot of people nowadays kanna de-press-tion. Allywhere i go, I ear people toking abt life. These people keep saying huh, "Life is gone.." and "There is no more life.."

Just then, around at the other side of a table in moonbuck. we heard someone shouting in astonishment, "What!! There's no more life? Oh no.. what am I going to do without life?"

Ah beng 1: See lah, I told u Oready rite.. Another siao one toking about life..
Ah beng 2: A... gd leh.. I just collected my "all" level result, I ting I wanna take up psychiatrist course.. can consel them and earn big buck, no need go thru the illegal way..

hahaha.. laughed our Puppy Razi.. Well, then.. this wraps up our finding for the cause of confusion in this event.

This is Razi.. reporting life (Err i meant live) from Puppy Daily press corp.

The 20 cent episode..

2008-01-22T23:42:00.000+08:00

Ahhhh.. I've misplace my previous water bottle in NTU.. Sian..
What to do.. just have to get a new one.

So on Sunday after church, I went to the Techman bookshop cause I wanted to get a water bottle. Not that it's anything unique, still, I just love the blue color bottle but especially the verse that says, "Those who hope in the Lord will regain their strength. Isaiah 40:31" plus with a big word in the background that reads "Rejuvenate". Impressive rite.. so click with a Water bottle.. especially after a badminton game. That is what caught my attention to get it. Who knows it might touch someone's life when they read the verse on the bottle.. So isn't it cool and impressive.. only $11.90.. and cheap..
Hurry while stock last.. haahaa..

Disclaimer
**By the way, I'm not in anyway connected with techman nor am I their advertiser k. Except I've got membership discount with them..

So where was I?? Oh, the shop doesn't open on sunday.. Sian again.. So I got it today after work since it's on the way home. The 20 cent episode happen inside.. Well, I help an American guy with a 20 cent, or should I say I help techman clinch a small sales with a 20 cent coin.. Yah.. It seems like techman got some cashflow problem and they don't have small change for a $10 note, not as if it's a $1000 bill.
Well, that guy reach back into his pocket and see if he could have the exact amount but he only manage to dig out some small notes amount to $3.70, still shortage of 20 cent for his item. So After waiting a while, the guy said, "It's all right, I'll come and buy another time." But who would want to let a sales walk off just like that. So they insist they have the change and started to dig at the other cash register but they couldn't open it. (It's like a day gone wrong for them.) Oh, and I was just queuing behind him and waiting to see what could happen next. Would the stuff come out with a clever idea to handle the situation or would they piss him off? Anyway, I was tired and getting impatient after a while. So i dig out a 20 cent coin and said, "Here's 20 cent for his item, just take it." Case closed and the one queuing behind me was laughing out of amusement that me, a customer, rendered a service for the shop whereas it should be the other way round. Actually I laughed abit with him too cause I too think it's quite amusing..

Disclaimer.. Again..
**There is actually nothing wrong with techman shop, it's just happen to be a bad day for them.

Ok, got to sleep soon, tml got a long 4 hours of math lect and tut after work..

Phew.. i scared myself for nothing..

2008-01-20T23:06:00.000+08:00

Haha.. I was confuse over something that isn't true.. Funny thing is that humans have the ability to believe in anything even if it seems false, cause slowly it'll creep into your mind and you'll start thinking it's true and you panic..

Phew.. seems like I got it mix up and i'm glad it's finally looking bright and good..

Well, my 1 week of turmoil was unfounded..

I'm feeling sentimental

2008-01-17T19:03:00.000+08:00

It's the feeling again that makes my Emotion going everywhere..

Distracted and Confused!!

**You need to go through the hard process of building the house before you can enjoy the sweet comfort of it!

Oh God, show me the way..

Let your heart be Delighted in God

2008-01-08T23:09:00.000+08:00

You have your life and I have my life and everybody have his/her own life, it's agenda and desires, duties, responsibility... etc.. many more!!

I'm starting school tml and not that I'm sad about it, actually i'm looking forward for this semester, to be able to studies with my friends again. Well, but Just that the math is tougher this semester and also it's back to a life of busy busy busy, travelling from east to west and back to south covering almost everywhere in Singapore except the North.. hehe..

Seriously what I'm trying to say is that it's so easy to be distracted from what we're doing, to juggle many areas in life that daily we just simply say a "hi and bye" to God. That sometimes it's hard to understand what so fanstatic about God or what so loving about God. Then we'll live our own life, set our own agenda and statisfy our own desires. Then Of course it will be hard to understand what so great our God since we don't even have time to stop and ponder and reflect about God and His word. Then it'll causes us to find it hard to pray and absorb His word, even if we tried to, cause our hearts is just not able to delight in God.
Psalm 1:1-2 says, "1 Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. 2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night."
It clearlys states who will be blessed and the reason why that man is able to walk in Godlinss is because in his heart, he has already delights in the word of God, there is no place in his heart to delight in wickness. So how does he be consistently delights in God, the answer is to meditates the word of God day and night. Oh and did I forget to mention that you need to pray and ask God to delight yourself in Him too. After all, it's only God alone who can open your eyes and reveal His Love, faithfullness and goodness to you and stir up the spirit within you that enable you to meditates His word day and night. This is the strenght that God has given for His children.

Proverbs 4:23 "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." So watch out for your heart that you still delight in God.

Seeker's cell, this is for you =)

2008-01-01T19:33:00.000+08:00

One thing I really wanna thank God for is my Seeker's cell. Yesh, each and everyone of my members in the Seeker's cell. After toiling and working hard over the past 2 years, finally I saw some fruits in each of every of the member. The greatest joy is to see them truely growing closer to God and seeing the passion and desire of them wanting to seek God and also the close bond we have build with each other. I really saw the maturity in them. Keep up the good race in seeking Christ guys!!

Well, it's only the begining. There is still so much more about Christ they've yet to see. So much more than I could explain, that power of God and His unfailing love.. And my prayers goes out for each of everyone of your: Hanwen, Kenneth, Rodney, Gabriel See, Gabriel Cheang, Roy, Wilbert, Matthew, Nathanael, Russel, Jeremiah, MingYi and Wei Liang that:
"God will fill you with His Holy Spirit and stir up your heart to seek Him in His word and prayer daily. And I pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way, bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. (1 Col 1:10-12)"

So guys, God bless and all the best in this new year 2008!

My results are out!!

2007-12-28T18:11:00.000+08:00

Finally, the long awaited day of arrival is at hand.. After toiling and sweating from the hard work in NTU, it is time to check out the harvest. Did I do well in my exams?? It's just a few buttons away..

Click.. Typing in my User name..
Click.. Typing in my Password..
Click......... waiting.... waiting.....
AND..

Yesh.. I hit my target.. Praise God and with a gleam on my face, I didn't get any C. Exactly what i've prayed for, I've asked for a minimum B grade and with that, I studied all the way for it with the wisdom and friends God gave me. Then on second thought, I should have set my target higher. Am I asking for too much rite.. give an inch now u want a yard.. I should respond with thanksgiving instead.. haha.. well, truely "With God all things are possible." Indeed I'll testify that God is faithful to the end and He will honour those who walk in His ways.

Well, I shouldn't reveal my results here, but if you ask me, i will tell you personally..

2007-12-22T00:50:00.000+08:00

It's early in the morning, in the quietest hour around 3am. I was woken up by my stomach.. Not because of hunger but because it refuses to coperate with me. I guess it's because I've mistreated it during my dinner that now it's trying to catch my attention. It really made my life miserable. I went to the toilet to relieve myself and it was an excellent example of the "Atomic bomb" EEeeeeee boooommm.. Ah well, then I went back to sleep again. When I woke up and began my day, it was terrible. I could not eat cause I would just feel like puking. Oh, I dislike this feeling. It seems to me that my stomach wouldn't want to digest anything. So I puked twice and was feeling giddy and weak after knocking off from work. Yah, I went to work that morning, but I took MC the next day. Glad I did that, cause I manage to catch lots of sleep and my fever was gone. Praise God and thanks for the prayer of people around me, I regain my strength back after the good sleep but still I couldn't eat much. Well, I didn't puke anymore the next day, but you can tell that the stomach just couldn't digest properly. It'll take a few days to get back to normal. So now it's the 4th day and my appetize is back, and my food intake is back to 70%. Hopefully i'll recover fully before this Christmas to enjoy my food.. hehe..

- Let your identity be found in Christ by bringing His word back into the centre of your life.

Whooo, loads of updates!!

2007-12-12T21:23:00.000+08:00

Hmm.. I've had a busy week. Played badminton with Mj and Sarah on sunday. Well, Adeline was supposed to join us but she's not feeling well that day, still she came and had dinner with us. Ok, let's backtrack 4 hours ago.. Haha.. Met up with Sarah with no idea what to get for Adeline's birthday. I never imagine or cross my mind that we would ended up getting her a Top, cause I imagine it's tougher than my math paper!! How on earth am I supposed to know which design is the "In" thing.. Which colour would bring out the best of the person? And what size?? But all thanks to Sarah.. The present is a success, after 2 hours plus of shopping.

Now, let's fast forward to wed.. It's Adeline's birthday and we wanted to surprise her at settlers cafe. So we reach there first after lunch and waited for her arrival hoping to hear her say, "Hey, how come your are here??" But I guess she's too smart to fall for that.. Sian.. She knew MJ would not bring her to play board games with only the 2 of them, there must be somebody there, but just dunno who was it.. Anyway, we had lots of fun playing reflex and mind challenging games till we're both mentally and physically exhausted. We went crazy over the "Who's the Boss" trying to play mind games with one another to strike a deal. Another game was quite nice too, "Are you an Idiot?" where we pretend to be an idiot when we're not and when we're the idiot, we pretend to be all wise.. haha.. I guess we had a great fun time.

I think my shopping mood is back, cause when I was walking around Clarke Quay, the Central, I saw some nice and cheap shoes from hush puppies and a polo tee from another shop near by.. Once again, it's the time of the year to pamper myself a bit after working so hard.. (working hard meh? My job slack one leh) ahaha..

Ok, back track to mon and tues. I've been feasting these few days cause one of my Myanmar friend in my work place is resigning to go back to his country. So we brought him to china square tea house restaurant after work. It's Chinese buffet style, $28++ per pax, not a bad deal for dinner. We ate peaking duck, fresh steam fish, piping hot dim sum, Fried soft shell crabs, herbal chicken, drunken prawns and many more.. Yummy.. Then on Tues, he brought us to a Myanmar cafe at Peninsular Plaze and ate those funny parts of the pig.. Eeeee, pig ears, pig tongues.. Sorry, not my style. Fortunately, it's only a dish of pigssss, mostly are fish.. I love fish, because of the different way they cooked it to bring out a total new taste. The appetizers was a prawn salad combine with some lemon. I love that dish.. It totally open up your appetite.

Well, after so much funs and laughters, at the end of the day, I still wanna thank God for the company of friends that made this possible. At times, I think I got too comfortable chasing the gifts rather than the Giver, that I'm exhausted to get into the very Word of God. So got to re-priorities my focus.. After all, we still have a purpose, a destiny that God called us to existences.

Yawn.. time to sleep..

What's after exams??

2007-11-29T22:48:00.000+08:00

Holidays are here and exams are over. Well, so far i've been playing badminton with people in my workplace, cause MJ and gang have yet to finish their exams!! So here I am waiting for your.. Anyway, taking abt the uncles with whom I played badminton with.. Although they will lose out in term of stamina, but their skills is more than enough to deceive you.. And their smacks goes like this ==> Wham... while my smacks only goes like this => whissss.. So in the end, I still manage to copy some of their tricks and use it on them.. Works for a while but then they adapt to it..

So why do i call them uncles? I think they are only 30 plus or near their 40s. Well, I guess the qualification to become uncles is when you have children.. That works for Aunty too ok.. Never knew such rules till those operators in my workplace mention it.. Kind of funny..

Ok, other than badminton, I've been playing computer games too with my NTU friends communicating with our headsets. Quite funny conservation going on too during the game. In short, I like my new computer. No more slow start up, no more lagging, no more hangs.. only smooth efficiency.

Well, tat's all, I've got to wake up early to work tml..

Counting down!!

2007-11-13T22:30:00.000+08:00

Yesh, it's around 2 more weeks to go and I can really see the day drawing nearer and nearer. It's time for it's arrival, after waiting for so long..

..... My new computer is finally coming.. haha.. Nah.. I wasn't refering to my holidays even though it's 1 and a half weeks more..

Anyway, tml is my Math paper, then friday is my data structure.. Got to sleep early..

Something to Thank God for..

2007-11-03T23:42:00.000+08:00

Praise God, I've got 96 marks for my data and structure quiz, and the previous time, i've got full marks, Hopefully at the end, I can score a A for this subject. Anyway, my math quiz is coming this wed, after that, it'll be my exam week.. So now is the final lap, it's time to sprint and dash ahead to the finish line..

Then again, I think I'm slacking.. cause it's hard to study at home. There is This computer Right Here and a TV set in my room.. how to study?? It's down to the D word.. Discipline!! Arghhh.. Finish this final lap well and then enjoy.. I've realise that in order to get a 2nd class honest, I need to get at least a B for every subject, if ever I get a C, i'll need an A to so call neutralise it.. Stress leh.. I've never taken my studies so seriously, this is the first time..

Just a bit of updates

2007-10-31T23:56:00.000+08:00

Yeah, just a bit of updates since i'm printing my lectures notes..

And the exams are just round the corner, can't imagine next week will be my last lecture then it's EXAM and then FREEDOM!!!! And to borrow someone's sentence.. "I wanna go out play!!" haha.. See.. now i'm being tempted.. haahaa.

Well, Planning of soccer, badminton, settlers cafe and building my own PC. Time to upgrade my PC to play some games during this short 5 weeks of holidays..

Of course it's also the best time for me to focus on God more since i've been so busy with my studies recently. Come to think of it, I've been guilty of sinning more and being slack in my walk with God. On every sunday, I'm being refresh, full of power, but then on mon, I couldn't even focus on God.. It just slip my mind and forgotten to look unto God, to live for God. The study load and working hours can really drain a person's strength. Where's the power, the power of the Cross in my life??

Got to sleep, continue another time.

Bad results

2007-10-20T23:01:00.000+08:00

Got fustrated with myself for doing badly for my physics quiz.. It's 30% weightage.. Studied so hard yet die under the hands of MCQs... Really not fair.. 4 Questions 20 mark each and 4 MCQs for 5 mark each.. it's really too heavy weightage for MCQ. I've got none of the MCQ correct!! The only comfort is that at least I still pass. There's still a chance to get a B grade by doing well in my final paper..

I guess it's time for updatess

2007-10-13T00:42:00.000+08:00

Oh, i'm on Sabactical leave, meaning I've taken a break from my youth ministry for 3 months.. Will return to Youth next year Jan.. Gotta take a breath and prepare for my coming exams which is in 1 month's time, 14, 16 and 26 nov.. Yeap, quite well plan, all spread out nicely for me to study..

Well, but I've still got to take a 6 days unpaid leave for my exams to revise and sit for my exams.. Hopefully I can finish preparing for my exams, should be able cause only 3 modules.. Haiz.. no more leave already.. all use up, so I can only take unpaid leave, meaning that quater I'll not get my bonous..

Feel like exercising and now i've got the time, no work on mon cause replacment for Hari Raya. It's time for Soccer on Sun and badminton on Mon.. Looking forward to it.

That's all for update..

Since I'm free, must well update abit rite..

2007-09-28T18:29:00.000+08:00

I'm actually aching all over especially on my calf muscles.. Reason was because I played badminton on tue with mingjie.. It's been almost 2 months since i've exercise.. supposed to play again today but I decided to call it off since my muscles doesn't corporate..
Anyway, I could make use of this time to prepare for my next week maths and physics quiz too..

I'm thinking of wearing contact lens since someone mention that my specs actually cover up my eyes.. and I look better without specs.. Is it true?? This is the 2nd time people said that.. hmm.. an idea to consider.. maybe I'll change when I feel like it and got the time in my hand..

That's all.. time to study.. study and study..
1 month 28 days to holiday..

Thank God...

2007-09-22T22:47:00.000+08:00

Number 1: Thank God that the 1 week holiday are here...

Number 2: And I've got 100 marks for my Data Quiz which consist of 10% of the final exam.

hmm... so far only these 2 outstanding one..

Take a break, catch some movie.. Just watch Music and Lydrics.. It's time to relax a bit..

Just another post, another update..

2007-09-09T23:12:00.000+08:00

And now.. I've recovered from my sick. But still busy like always.. The tutorial like cannot finish one.. After finish this week's tutorial then come another week's tutorial. Still searching for the extra time so I can try out the exam paper.. at least the first few questions where the lecturer had taught. Still clueless how the exams questions look like, the type of questions lecturer will ask..

Anyway i've taken a pict of the clear blue sky on wed with my N73.. haha.. cause it looks beautiful.

See my photo skill..

The tree's leave is nice too so I took it together with the blue sky..

Actually green does goess well with blue..

Now i'm sick!!

2007-09-02T18:26:00.000+08:00

It's only the first week of working morning shift and now i'm sick.. haiz, got a sore throat and cough at first, then I quickly "heal" it by eating the "Pi Pa Kao" sweet, cause I heard that it's effective. Well, it sort of effective for throat but not the cough.. Anyway, i take back my old traditional chinese cough medicine which is super powerful one.. Can clear the lung passage way too so I can breath better.. Now i'm down with running nose and my body gets tired easily and weak. I just dislike flu..

Arggg, i'm sick..

I better take care of my body before it became asthma.. It actually comes in a pattern for my body.. Cough and sore throat, then flu, then asthma come.. So if i manage to stop the pattern somewhere in the middle, then asthma won't come.. Soo funny one.. like they come in a package.

Yah, got to sleep more and drink more water. So I'll just finish up my tutorial and then sleep early tonight..

Arggg, got to work tml and go school.. Can i take MC???????????

Where did time gone to??

2007-08-30T18:08:00.000+08:00

Zoooommmm.... and time flys so fast.. I've hardly got anytime left except on sunday. Maybe No, not even sunday since i've got to do some revision..

I've been transfer to working day shift now from 7am to 4:15pm since my studies timing crashes with my night shift working hours. Anyway, there are some disadvantage working in the day. It means I cannot revise my lecture notes or do my tutorial during working hours cause there's lots of boss in the day.. And I've got no night shift allowances, means my salary is now down by $200. Ahhh... Still got to pay my school fees leh..

So how's my studies, I can only say it's choking me up, especially for math, it can really make my mind explode. The steps are getting more and more complicated. I've just got to practice more so that it gets into my brains.... and digest it in my mind... I think I've hardly got anytime now. I got to work everyday and study every Mon, wed and fri. I'll reach home at 11:15pm and must wake up 5:30am the next day. Really lack of sleep, only slept around 6 hours. Then on tue and thurs where I don't need to go NTU, i'll have to rush home and quickly revise all that the teacher had taught before I forgot about everything. Then if there's time, i got to rush my tutorial and prepare my notes for the conming lecture so I can understand.. Then on Sat it's Catching up on what's not done on the weekdays.. study and study and work and work and still got to prepare for sunday bible study and cell...

Can't imagine what i've gotten myself into.. It's indeed a big challenge. Press On.. Holidays are coming in 3 months time..

Isaiah 40:29-31
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

The Potter and the Clay

2007-08-13T15:43:00.000+08:00

God is our Potter and we are the clay. There are 3 types of clay: Hard clay, dry up clay and Soft clay.

Soft clay: These are the people who are easily mouldable by the Potter because they have the correct temperture and they have enough moist to keep them from being dry up or stiff. These people are always seeking God or maybe most of the time, they are seeking God.

Dry up clay: These are the people who are still mouldable but it's not easy. Some parts of them might have already been harden. It will need lots of moist and higher temperature to become like the soft clay. These people are too caught up with life that they didn't realise that they are drying up.

Harden clay: These are the people who like our clay teapot, has become unmouldable, and the only way to mould them is to smash them and break them up into pieces and put them together with the soft clay. These people don't believe that God is their all or anything real and important.

Which clay are we?

Actually I was looking at the state of some of my youth and thinking, perhaps we should start taking notice of those dry up clay before they turn harden. Yeap, just a thought as a cell leader.

So much things, no time for updates

2007-08-10T15:22:00.000+08:00

So busy this week.. I've just started schooling again and it's been a week. I'm now part time studying in NTU and working full time, so that explains for the dust in my blog.. Actually I'm kind of excited and happy to be studying.. Let me see, it's really been around 4 years since I've last taken my exams or even mention the word "Tutorial" and "Lecture notes."
So how's my first week in NTU? Very excited that I can take notes and do tutorial.. hehe.. Actually I sort of miss studying but not really to the extend, maybe it's only the begining.. haha.. Yah.. I thought Singapore Poly was big.. but NTU was huge!! Well, I sort of got lost for the first 2 time going there. So hopefully it won't happen the 3rd time. So far, my tutorial class only start next week, so I didn't really know my classmate well. Just pray hard that God will give me a group of friends that I can study with and smart enough to know what's going on in the lecture.. hahaha.. so evil..

Oh.. did I mention that engineering math is a tough nut to crack.. that it almost crack my head up trying to understand why is it like this or like that.. Really got to work double hard for math!!

Yesh.. enough of schooling.. I'm so happy this week cause I got to drive around for 2 times this week. Once from my Godmum where I drove from Tampines to Beach Road and the other time from my friend, Enous to Marine parade. It's so easy to drive an automatic car, you don't need to divide your attention to drive and change gear. I just drove over 100km/hr on the expressway cause there was no car in front of me and I didn't look at the speedometer. Kind of strange that I actually thought I was driving only at 80km.. No wonder they call it the "express way". Anyway, it's so fun and trilling to drive..

My final update is to Thank God that I've pass my IPPT with bronze and so that means I got a $100. And I'll say my God is indeed faithful to the end..

Think you are clever??

2007-07-30T12:50:00.000+08:00

Just came across a website that really question the level of your IQ puts your creativity to the test. So if you think you are real smart.. Haha.. wait till you try this out..

*Don't say I never warn you.. It'll make you feel as if you are real stupid after a while..

http://gamefudge.com/The-Impossible-Quiz

**Hint: Do think out of the box..

Just felt it's time to post again..

2007-07-24T20:12:00.000+08:00

So here it goes..

Went Clake Quey on Sat to celebrate on of my friend's birthday.. I think he's 23 years old if i'm not wrong.. Check it out.. we went to the satay club to eat and we order a plate of fried rice and a plate of vegetable cooked with mushroom.. A plate of chicken wings.. Onion eggs and Satays. Everything is nice there but the chicken wings.. err.. dun try lah.. cause it's really normal. like those coffee shop western chicken wings. So how much did we spent there?? Well, the 5 of us spend total about $80 plus with service charge and GST..

Then it's happening time.. it's time for some drinks.. So we walk around to see any nice cozy place to hang out and have some drinks while we talk. We saw these nice bar starting with Kan.. something one.. forget the name of it.. but it has a very cool design with flooring like transparent kind as if u could fell down if the glass break.. (I don't think it will) So we went in and after for a few minutes, we realise we can't talk much cause the music is loud.. Thank God they are not playing 100% techno.. at least it's techno jazz.. So we began to have fun with the camera and starts taking lots of stupid pictures.. we started to throw cusion around and disturb the birthday boy.. And I assure you we are not high.. we only drink a glass each.. The lychee martini was not bad.. at least I won't mind drinking that. Will post the pict when I got them... Then we went to try out other bars since we can't talk in there.. The birthday boy keep asking if we wanna drink the shots. So we proceed next to the clinic bar to drink the shots.. Those kind where it's a small glass but u got to glup down at one shot the whole thing.. At first we thought it's going to be strong but then we realise that it's really nothing at all.. 6 small glass for $48.. Then we realise it's expensive loh.. but the good thing is nobody got drunk.. not even tispy which is good cause some of us got church the next day.. we won't wanna drink too much..

Finally we conclued that there is no such thing as a no noise bar where we could have our cake.. we went to the river side in front of it and ate our cakes and talk. I think Clake Quey is a good place to hang out.. So far so good.. then I ate durain on the next day.. but that is another story..

Your Purpose and Destiny

2007-07-17T19:37:00.000+08:00

Recently as I was reading this book "On mission with God", I came across a sentence that struck me.
"You may have thought you were saved just to go to heaven when you die, but God says, "I save you to be on misson with Me to redeem a broken world."

Yah, that's what I've always thought, that I was saved just to go to heaven. True, but I've forgotten that there is more to just salvation when one receive Christ. You see, God is not just interested to save you, but also interested to use you, to include you to be part of His big plans for the world. (John 15:16 - You did not chose me but I have chosen you, and appointed you to go and bear fruits, fruits that will last...) And the truth is that you can't get into heaven till you breath you last breath on earth. So while you are still on earth, do you think that God has nothing for you, that you just live your life randomly and sometimes doing some good things. No, how could it be? What i'm trying to get at is this: God has a purpose or destiny (Whatever you call it) for everyone. Like Moses is to bring the people of God out of Egypt, or David who is chosen to be King over God's people and Paul who is called to bring the gospel to the Gentiles... God has a purpose for everyone of His people and when that person accepts Christ, not only does he receive salvation but he also receive a new purpose and destiny from God, the reason why God place you on this part of the earth.

I guess we got to take a look at what God had done in our life, the direction He had been guiding us and the desire and burden He had place into our hearts for certains things. Then we will be able to see some light of what our purpose is.
Well, take note of what God is doing in your life right now because He is preparing you for your assignment. Your next assignment may occur tomorrow, and your ultimate assignment may be 20 years from now, but God is preparing you according to you His foreknowledge and wisdom.

Blessed

2007-07-10T17:33:00.000+08:00

Came back.. Turn on the TV and it's channel news asia, "Get Real". This time it is featuring children who are diagnose with Cancer at young age. I thought it's really quite sad that children as young as 9 years old have to struggle with so much pain. They yearn for simple things like able to cycle and many little little things in life that we took for granted. Though they are young, yet they are able to understand life much better than many adults do. The only option they have is try to live life to the fullest.

During an interview with one of the boys diagnose with Cancer, when ask about what hope is there in the future. There's just silent, he's not sure how to answer that, I meant one could see from his look that he doesn't have the answer to it. It was then, I felt that He really needed Christ. If only someone could tell him of the wonderful place that awaits him in Christ. A place with no sadness nor tears nor suffering but joy and peace always. Such news will surely be a delight and hope in his heart.

I'm Blessed because:
- I have Jesus as my God
- I am healthy
- I have a home and family
- I have friends that truely cares
- I am able to lead a normal life
And many many more..

So blessed, I can't contain it
So much I got to give it away.
Your Love, taught me to live now
You are, more than enough for me

**Lord, teach me not to take your blessings in my life for granted but may your blessings be turned into opportunity to Praise and Glorify your Awesome Name.

My Wooden Piece of Art

2007-07-07T14:48:00.000+08:00

Yesh.. Finally I've finish building and fixing up my Awesome Battle Cruiser!! Err.. compare with God, it's not that awesome actually, but that is beside the point. Anyway, I thought of finishing it with some paint, but after some thoughts, I think it would be better to leave it as it is: The original wooden classic finish.

Yeap, here it goes.. My 45cm long and 15cm high Wooden Battle Cruiser.

Side view: See that 2 turret in front. Pretty cool rite!!

Now look at the back of the Cruiser, Err actually nothing amazing at the back except that there is a turret mounted there too..

The Top View

Viewing from ground level

For your viewing pleasure

Finish, no more.. maybe I'll build a car next.. hmm.. see first ok..

An update

2007-07-04T16:30:00.000+08:00

For the first time in my working days in Sanmina, I finally got 5 days off Straight. Sat, Sun, Mon, Tue, Wed.. Well, that means the coming pay, I will get lesser $$, but I conclude that it is worth it. I manage to rest and enjoy myself.

Sat:
Haha, I've got my $350 gst package and so went to Far East Plaza (SpinB) and got myself 2 pairs of jeans and a polo T-shirt before the Gst goes up to 7%. Actually I'm really in need of jeans and polo T-shirt since my last shopping for myself is before Chinese New Year. And before I knew it, I spent more than $150 on them.

Sun:
Finally I got to play soccer with my boys in the field before church starts. It's been like 3-4 months since I've play with them and we won. I guess my boys have really improve alot on their team work and skills.

Mon:
It's sports day again. Played badminton with Mingjie, Jon, Chris and Alex. But halfway thru, one of my rackets broke. The grip handle broke into 2 and there's no way it could be fix. No choice, got to cross over and buy a new racket. Anyway, it's time to change, that racket has been with me for more than 7 years. Sob Sob, I've won so many games with that racket of mine.. Couldn't bear to throw it away, so I ask mingjie to do it for me.. and he really did it. Anyway that sence was real funny. I bought a new racket for $220 (Armortech 800). Wanted to buy the muscle power series but it's more than $250. Can't bear to spend that much.

Tue:
Yesh, we played badminton Again from 10-12 before going down to mind's cafe at dobby ghuat to play board games. It's actually cheaper than settlers cafe but the only bad thing about mind's cafe is the staff are not that well train in the boardgames and they couldn't explain it clearly. So we ended up playing some part of the game with our own rules. After that, we went down to plaza sing to catch transformer since I got 2 free tickets. Wow, the effect of the show was totally awesome and breath taking. Especially when we are sitting 3rd row from the screen. I could say the effect is really 5 out of 5. As for the story line, it's just pretty normal, nothing special about it. So I guess i'll give an overall of 4 out of 5. Waiting for die hard 4.0.

Today (wed):
Both me and my sister tidy up the whole house together, then she vaccum the floor while I mop the floor. I think we started around 11 and finish around 4pm.. Can imagine how dirty my house was. Took us 5 hours just to clean and make it presentable. It's not even totally clean yet. There are still lots of rubbish we've yet to dig out and throw. It's real tiring But still, we're proud of our effort, now the whole house feel so much better and more refreshing. Haha, my sister is sleeping now. Waiting for her to get up and have dinner outside. So meanwhile, I shall watch my mobtv, After Hours..

Choosing Between Good and God's Best

2007-06-29T20:27:00.000+08:00

I've read this sentence 2 weeks ago.

"Often our struggle to obey God is not between something Bad and Good but often between what's God's best for us and what does not seems wrong."

Why did I bring that out? Cause I find it a struggle in my obedience unto God. I'm now standing on my own 2 feet making my own money every month and there is nothing wrong with it, the problem is that, with money, it opens many other 100 options that you would never face before. There are actually more things you can achieve and get with it, plus a lifestyles that it can offer for me. So that means I must be wise enough to say No to myself at times. There were choices that would distract me from what God had for my life. Well, often it's easy to say no to stuff that clearly are wrong or bad that doesn't please God. But not that easy when things are in grey area where it can be wrong yet it can be right depending on motives, time and situation.

Recently, over a period of 6-8 months, I was in the mood of enjoying my life. I love to go and find good food to eat, hang out with people often and shop for stuffs that I always wanted to get. In short, I was trying to upgrade my living lifestyle. And since I could afford to do that, I thought, why not? It doesn't seems wrong to eat good food, didn't seems evil to buy stuffs or hang out often with people. And then image was my next concern. It's time for a change and pride came in. Well, to cut the whole story short, I realise I went overboard and started to love the world and myself. The things I did which were not wrong in nature drew me away from my obedience unto God. Ended up I was actually distracted in my walk with God and confuse of who I am serving at that point of time. My relationship with God doesn't seems to be real and seriously, I says, I was not happy at all. I've lost my joy and my ministry was a total drag at that time, trying to substain it. I tried to draw near to God but it was in vain. I have so call other 'gods' in my life...

Well, really Thank God for His faithfullness that this verse somehow crept into my mind. "1 John 2:15 - Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him." It sort of give a little nudge on me and then God sent some disappoinment in my life together with some Godly people to talk with me. It snap me up right there. Suddenly it was like I could see everything so clearly and the purpose God had for me began to unfold. The fire I once had for God began to burn again, Ablaze all at once!! Only God could do that.

In conclusion, Obedience unto God is the core of our christian life. For in 1 King 2, Before King David died, he gave this charge to his son Solomon.

"I am about to go the way of all the earth," he said. "So be strong, show yourself a man, and observe what the LORD your God requires: Walk in his ways, and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and requirements, as written in the Law of Moses, so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go." 1 King 2:1-3.

24 years of my life

2007-06-20T18:48:00.000+08:00

I'm proud to say i'm almost reaching my 24 years of life experiences in Singapore.. So what do I have to say??

Regarding my childhood..
- They are still the best, free from worries and full of fun (Most of the time)
- Friends are the best.

Regarding my studies..
- Oh crap.. I should have listen to my parents and study harder.
- Remember, this is Singapore.. And that means paper = money.

Regarding my army days..
- Phew, thank God I survive. Learned many things about life skill in it.
- Always cover your back so you would get shot by people.
- Lack of sleep is actually rather normal.
- You're abnormal if you don't sweat a "bucket" of sweat daily.

Regarding my work days..
- The money was good but it always come with a price, that is my freedom..
- Learned even more survival life skill in it. (Don't assume what your buddy says is true)
- The rich will always get richer and the poor have to sturggle to make life better.
- The world is tempting for us christians who wish to follow God.

After 24 years of life experiences, you will agree with me that life is dead without God in the picture. You study and work and chase dreams and in the end, you couldn't take anything you've done on earth with you and your dreams lead to nowhere fufilling. All you have been doing is just processing life and trying to make some senses out of it.
But I thank my God for his Faithfullness unto me. Time and again He had proven that His calling for me is far more better than the world. To seek and serve Him is better than loving the world. I mean, Many times in life, I just feel that serving God is so boring, that building my career is much better. There are many things I wanted in life and many things I've yet to try. "Why bother to serve as a cell leader for a group of sec 2 and sec 3 boys? In the end, do they care about the hard work you've invested into their life." But God reminded me of the passion, of the work that He begin in me while I was young. He had given me a heart to build people up for God's Kingdom and how from young till now, bit by bit, He build me up with skills needed for His greater calling.
Seriously I've almost forgotten the calling God had place in my heart until I look back to the begining where God work in me. I mean God doesn't just change, but He will bring to completion what He has begun in you. God is consistent and he don't just abandon and change your calling anyhow. Instead He will build layer by layer on what He had already done in you. I guess we just have to look back and we will see clearly what God is doing in our life, then we will know his purpose for us. Then you are either with Him or against Him. As for me and myself, I will serve my God faithfully to the end.

Another update or my life

2007-06-11T18:05:00.000+08:00

Hope I'm not getting sick. I still got my IPPT test to take this wed. But i'm feeling abit weak, those sicklish feelings. And I think i'm having a bit of cold. Must be the lack of sleep yesterday. I never slept for the whole 24 hours as I was working and I went fishing with Nick, Jon and some focus ppl in the night from midnight to 5:30am. And it's so boring loh.. the 3 of us ending up just playing cards the whole night. Waste of time and my beauty sleep, I wonder why i choose to go in the first place. I guess I just wanted to feel how is it like to be fishing cause it's my first time. I wanted to try new things, of course it must not contridict the word of God man..

At times, this is life..

2007-06-08T14:22:00.000+08:00

I'm so distracted inside me. There are some things I need to do and clear up yet I dunno if it's the best time now. I know I got to face it sooner or later unless I choose to let it go just like that. I tried but I just couldn't cause it hasn't come to a conclusion yet.